Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

Whether you're dealing with emotional or fiscal debts, it's important to balance the books before too long, or you could experience a real psychic, and monetary, drain. Deal with the situation honestly. Or at least lie with your fingers crossed behind your back.

Cancer (June 22 - July 22)

Maximize the possibilities by taking care of details in the here and now. Once you start taking these steps, then you can shift your focus to bending time and worrying about things in the past. Or you could choose to just saw the top of the Cheerleader’s head off and steal her brain and powers.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

You're in a playful, experimental mood. One moment you want chocolate ice cream, the next, butter rum pecan. But, beware: if you keep this up, taste bud overload is imminent.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

You're bubbly as a can of soda pop, so make sure you get out there and share your sparkling energy with everyone. Just don’t vomit on the curtains this time.

Stooks Proverb: Search knowledge though it be in China. Or you could just ask Rosie O’Donnell. The likely answer? “Ching chong, ching ching chong, Danny DeVito.” Don’t catch her on an empty stomach.