Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Life's too short to pretend, unless you’re pretending to be Superman. That’s fun.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

Are you paying attention? Some good news has landed in your lap. Make sure you tip when she’s done.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

The temptation to label things as good or bad is strong, but stop yourself from jumping to conclusions. Something you think is terrible could turn out to be beneficial. Hint: it’s not the series finale of Seinfeld. It sucked.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

There's nothing as satisfying as making a house of cards and then knocking it over and starting with a fresh deck. Okay, there’s one thing more satisfying: an afternoon with Dennis Franz.

Stooks Proverb: Beggars can’t be choosers. Unless they’ve got discards from both Original and Extra Tasty Crispy buckets of KFC.