Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

Excitement is growing even more than it was before. Has someone been taking the Enzyte plunge with Smiling Bob?

Cancer (June 22 - July 22)

Assuming that other people's lives are totally under control while you're a big mess is silly. See if you can transfer your mess to them, Federline style.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

A cooler side of your personality prevails right now. Good for you. Don't let minor altercations become much bigger under today's celestial influences. Tomorrow’s celestial forecast is more in line with a beat down. Wait it out.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

'What goes around comes around' isn't just a saying. If anything, it's more like a rule to live by. What would you rather spread -- contentment or anger? Happiness or irritation? It's in your hands, especially now. Just don’t write a song; Timberlake already did that.

Stooks Proverb: Dead men tell no tales. Dead Mermaids have tails.