Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Enlightening influences are coming your way, thanks to those optimistic and happy-go-lucky stars. Those manic depressive stars are sleeping in after a weekend of binging.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Frustrated and fuming about delays on the career front? Think of this as an opportunity to slow down and think about the direction you're headed: door-to-door magazine sales.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

You're conscious of what's fair to all the parties involved, especially concerning relationships. You figure a full leather setup is a fair tradeoff for your lover spanking you in a nun outfit.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

A potential argument doesn't have to turn into a battle royal. A cage match will do.

Stooks Proverb: Don’t give advice in a crowd, especially if the crowd is compiled of lepers with a hugging addiction.