Leo (July 23 - August 22)

The small stuff is rolling right off your back, not so much with the large goiter on the small of your back.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

A potential romance is really blooming, so pour on the TLC. Rest in peace, Left Eye.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

You can be most generous when the spirit moves you. That impulse makes you want to give someone the shirt off your back. But remember what happened the last time you went topless in the workplace? Poor Barry lost his right hand over that one.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Your instincts are dead on right now, especially when it comes to your love life. Chatrooms are really the only place you’re going to get away with your kind of lust.

Stooks Proverb: The nearer the bone, the sweater the flesh. So, theoretically, all of Nicole Richie’s flesh is quite tasty.