Dear bum, Stop asking me for spare change. I don’t have spare change. I have change that I’ve yet to spend. If the monetary system collapses and my change ceases to have worth, I will have spare change. I also don’t have an extra cigarette for you. I don’t have cigarettes for myself. And, if…
Ninety percent of my job involves face-to-face interactions with the general public. A fair number of these people emit foul odors. Today, I was working with a lady and her male companion. Both were in their 50s. Toward the end of our long discussion, the smell of liquid scat filled the air. Was it truly…
If you have no problem paying for the gas, or people vandalizing it, or everyone thinking you’re an asshole – you can get great financing on a Hummer. I’d say Hummer dealerships will start vanishing soon. Thank god. This vehicle was designed for pricks – small ones.
It’s called Men’s “C” league for a reason. Douchebags.
I went to my third Royals game of the year last night. The Royals are 0-3 in games with me in attendance. They’ve lost five in a row. Last night’s game was particularly rough. Cleveland beat the Royals 15-1. The good news is I have a douchebag usher to tell you about. The Douche Usher…
I went to Manhattan last weekend to catch up with some friends. We went to Kite’s Saturday night. I learned two main things. 1. K-State basketball fans suck. K-State lost to Baylor Saturday night. Like KU fans trying to follow football (see this post), K-State basketball fans really don’t understand the game. They jeer at…
Who was last night’s big winner? If you guessed K-State, you’re wrong. It’s this guy: He was at Charlie Hooper’s for the KU-K-State game last night. He has an awesome tattoo of a watch under his watch, but he has an even better shirt. Things To Do: 1. Your Sister 2. Your Mom You gotta…
I was pretty much through with this show, but got suckered into watching it last night. Rosie O’Donnell is on four episodes of Nip/Tuck this season. I’m sure it was her idea to have the “ass bandit” story line inserted (teehee). Seeing Rosie’s face while a couple of digits plunged into her rectum was everything I…
Before reading on, study the smiles on Bob Vila and Norm Abram. Vila’s smile is phony. He doesn’t enjoy being this close to Norm. Vila wonders how much he gets paid for this photo shoot with Norm. He’s thinking it’s not enough. Norm’s smile is legit. He’s loving life in this picture. That’s not to…