Santa called in today, and shared some of his secrets. Enjoy.
Matt Stooks.com
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Monthly Archives December 2005
The Bogeyman
Why is it spelled that way? And the alternate spellings are no better: The bogeyman, also boogeyman, boogyman, or bogyman, is a ghost-like monster that children often believe is real. “Boogieman” is more like it. And children “often” believe he is real? Isn’t that saying the majority of children think he’s real? As Stossel would [...]
Hate Mail Part II
First off, here’s the phone call that prompted the angry Email. We were talking about the occupations that annoy the normal folk. Car salesmen, telemarketers, etc. were on some recent study of the most unethical jobs when a caller said Jehova’s Witnesses should be added to the list. I got another Email today. Subject: you [...]
Hate Mail
What could I have said to prompt the following email? Did I really imply a Hitler-esque elimination of an entire religious group? I’ll have the audio here tomorrow. In the meantime, do your own grammar check, and then we’ll share notes. Subject: d.j’s suckTo: mattstooks@mattstooks.com My brother and I listen to all you dumb ass [...]
Thoughts for today
Don’t go to the bathroom immediately after coming in from the cold. Things are a little harder to get a hold of, and when you finally do, the fingers feel especially chilly. People who back into their parking space at work are setting the stage to get out of there as fast as they can, [...]
Too late for Latino Heat
The WWE, formerly known as the WWF, is going to start testing wrestlers for drugs and steroids after Eddie “Latino Heat” Guerrero died a few weeks ago. They didn’t find drugs in his system, but he used to dance with the white lady a couple years back.That may solve one problem. But looking at the [...]
Help?
I’ve sucked at updating the website lately. And the longer I go between posts, the more pressure I feel to come back with a good one to make up for it. I liken it to what Luke Perry must think when he looks over scripts for possible Lifetime original movie roles, looking for the one [...]
