What better way to celebrate Fat Tuesday than with Louie Anderson! “And I pray that chicken fingers may fall from the sky and into my mouth.” Lots of clips today. We had our first ever “Ask Louie” segment today. Louie’s got great advice on how to get beads on Mardi Gras. One caller wanted to [...]
Monthly Archives February 2006
We played a fun game today, called “Which is the real Blanche?” It infuriated our old, possibly German lady. “I never believed in summer sausage. I like it all four seasons.” Changing themes, I went to Wal-Mart yesterday. I didn’t really do anything Saturday night, so I was in Wal-Mart at 8:30 Sunday morning. I [...]
As promised, here’s the picture of Lisa Marie Presley and her new beau. He’s quite the dandy. “With our loins combined, we can create a race to take over the world! Or, at the very least, frighten it.”
The Manhattan Mercury impressed me with the cleverness of the above headline. But they couldn’t fit as many m’s in there as I could, so there! Here’s our discussion from this morning.It’s Girl Scout Cookie Season, but before you go hunting Girl Scouts and stealing their cookies, check out girlscouts.net to find out where you [...]
This morning, we were talking about a guy from the Manhattan parks department who got arrested for having child porn on his computer. Then, we got off on a rant about the amazingly idiotic things people do on the computer at work. The High Lady called in and then handed the phone off to a [...]
Happy Presidents’ Day! Make sure you go hug someone who’s met a President. I think that’s what you’re supposed to do. Here’s a little ditty I wrote, “Presidents’ Day is lonely for me.” “For my next trick, I’ll die when someone throws a towel on the floor.”
We had some freezing rain in the area this morning. Have you ever heard the “you grew up in this area, so you should know how to drive in this weather” argument? Not the one where you should slow down, but the one where you should go the full speed limit because physics don’t apparently [...]
First off, I’m disappointed in Google. They don’t have a Valentine’s graphic on the homepage today. I could understand if the Olympics happened only every four years and only for one day that happened to be on Valentine’s, but that isn’t the case. You can take one day off from the Olympics graphic to put [...]
Extra special treats today. First, we had a discussion about the “Love Assist,” where someone you are with hits on someone on your behalf. Then, the High Lady calls in at the end of the segment and throws a huge wrench into the whole thing. “Puff, puff, pass, Snoop.” Then, my favorite and dirtiest segment [...]
A new character debuted on the show today: the guy who likes Barbie a little too much. Ken was too busy listening to Clay Aiken records to come to Barbie’s rescue.
I saw a Chevy Impala that had spinning rims. “But Michael, spinning rims will cripple my ability to TurboBoost.” -Kitt Just to emphasize how lame that is, my mom drives the exact same car. This morning, we decided spinning rims: 1. Only work on trashy cars 2. Should have a version that looks like a [...]
Interesting question posed by a Stooks in the Morning caller this morning. “Does Ariel have normal female plumbing?” And why wasn’t that point argued in her song about being a normal woman? “If you were a real woman, I’d show you the trick I can do with my claws.”
Five types of people at the Superbowl party: 1. Normal fan2. There-for-the-dip guy3. Woman along for the ride4. Way too intense guy5. Guy who doesn’t like football but feels the need to talk constantly You can’t have a way-too-intense guy and the talking guy at the same party. Intense guy will scream at talking guy [...]
Have you heard about the Kama Sutra virus? Well, I got confused after I Googled “kama sutra” to find out about this nasty little bugger, and stumbled upon the “Kama Sutra Animated.” I was shocked to see that this was some kind of obscene website! Hint! You can set the poses as the desktop on [...]
This guy can never gets any good email.