Microwave of the Future

My microwave’s display flashes “FOOD IS READY” when the timer hits zero.

How does the microwave know the food is ready? It doesn’t know. It’s a liar.

If you place a chicken breast in the microwave, and set the timer for 30 seconds, does that mean the chicken is done when the microwave beeps three times and “FOOD IS READY”?

You and I understand “FOOD IS READY” means the microwave successfully microwaved your item for the requested number of seconds, not that the food is indeed “READY”.

But what happens when I upgrade to a computerized model in 2033, and kick the 2008 model to the curb? What if some poor fool stumbles upon it and makes it his own?

Will this young “Man of the Future” be sophisticated enough to know there was a time when microwaves didn’t cook all items to perfection? Simply type in the number of seconds you want it to take to cook your chicken breast, and boom, the microwave cooks the food in the desired time. Microwave assures “FOOD IS READY”.

Consumer digs in and suffers from salmonella.

Comments 1

  1. DB wrote:

    If he is truly a “Man of the Future” his bowels will be immune to the effects of E. coli or salmonella. His bowels will be able to eat raw chicken cooked merely for 30 seconds or 20 hours in that damned deceptive microwave. In his case, “Food is Ready” will be equated by “The World is Ready…The World is Yours.” (eg, Scarface.) The food will be his. The world will be his. Thank you, Stooks, for your wisdom and prophecy in this matter.

    Posted 07 Apr 2013 at 16:33

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