Channel 9 News was at the Sprint Center tonight to show off all the little shits adorable kids who went to the Hannah Montana show.

Notice the boy who'll no doubt get his ass kicked in school tomorrow, unless he's been abducted by a pedophile.

Labels: kansas city, kids

Barack Obama said "I have not been planning to run for President for however number of years some of the other candidates have been planning for."

Hillary Clinton's campaign, looking to call BS, tracked down a quote from his kindergarten teacher. She said Barack wrote an essay with the title "I Want To Become President."

I can only imagine what a further look at Barack's kindergarten work would reveal. If you think illegal immigrants are bad, just wait until President Obama lets our streets overrun with a variety of fire-breathing reptilian characters, clowns and Human Growth Hormone victims.

Labels: kids, politics

It's been too long since we've talked about a crappy poll. Here's a new one.

Kids aged 2-12 think Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are more deserving of coal in their stockings than the Grinch and Darth Vader.

So, little kids think Britney and Paris are naughtier than two of the most evil fictional bad guys of all time? That's harsh. But, while Darth Vader slaughtered younglings, Paris covered their sabers in sores. That's a pretty even trade.

Besides, didn't you always wonder why Darth Vader's face was all eaten up? Mustache rides gone terribly wrong.

Labels: kids, movies, polls

"Made in China" sure doesn't have the sweet ring that it used to. Check out what they're putting in our toys now.

Aqua Dots, which features small beads that bond with water, are made with a chemical the body converts to gamma-hydroxy butyrate, commonly known as the date-rape drug. Two children in the U.S. who swallowed the beads became comatose, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission said in a statement. The children recovered.

The Date-Rape Drug is in toys now? Stop toying (teehee) with us, China. We all know you're trying to sink the United States by trying to force a seedy, underground, toddler-date-rape society on us.

BTW, I don't recall licking and swallowing toys when I was a child, but I am a little curious about the chemical compounds sure to exist in some of my old toys.

Labels: kids, this is america