Gladiators return

American Gladiators showed up on my DVR – new season, baby!

Here’s the episode description:

A single mother takes on a Chernobyl survivor; a store owner battles with a carpenter.

This Chernobyl survivor better be deformed.  Update: No visible deformation.

It’s a 2-hour episode.  Is that necessary?  I have no problem completely shutting off my brain for one hour, but two hours is just enough time for my drool to dry and crust by the end of the show.  Thank God I can fast forward.

Check out this exchange at the top of the show:

Hulk Hogan: Welcome, one and all, to the biggest, baddest, prime-time competition on Earth!  We’ve got a brand new arena, brand new Gladiators, brand new events, and Laila even has a brand new baby on the way!

Laila Ali: That’s right, Hulk! And we cannot wait for all the action!

What does Laila Ali’s baby have to do with anything in that sentence?  Is this the only place they could find to put a “Yes, Laila’s largess is due to pregnancy” line?  Or is Laila Ali’s childbirth going to play a role on the show?  If so, I think I can wait for the action, Laila.  I don’t need to see any placentas flying out of you.

Wolf is back.  If you didn’t know, his real name is Hollywood Yates, and he’s a badass dancer.   You should also check out his homepage.

“Howl.”

Note: This post contained the phrase “due to.”  Many people aren’t aware of the difference between “because of” and “due to.”  If you Google “because of due to,” the first result is the explanation from my old badass copyediting teacher at KU.  See what you’re missing out on here.  Or don’t.  You’ll be the one writing and speaking foolishly.