Chimp on a rampage (ooh ah):
A 42-year-old chimpanzee who is toilet-trained and can eat with a knife and fork is believed to be at large in a Southern California forest after escaping his cage.
We shall call him “Cutlery Toilet Monkey.” How come we’re so impressed that an animal that could easily outlast us in the wild, can also shit on a pot and cut some steak?