Michael Jackson and Debbie Rowe are close to a custody agreement over their children. Their agreement? To make sure their kids have the most frightening existence of all time.
Paris Hilton has been officially charged for DUI. Now, back to whorin’.
Corey Haim and Corey Feldman are getting back together for a show on A&E. Are you listening, Columbian coke cartel?
Chevy Chase is going to be on Law & Order in November. Are you listening, Columbian coke cartel?
Aaron Carter says his engagement, now over after one week, was not a PR stunt. It was more like a “whoops, I forgot I haven’t hit puberty” stunt.
Dr. Phil has to pay $10 million dollars because of his faulty diet pills. Now, when are we going to get that class action lawsuit on his stash.
Kate Moss is back with her ex, Pete Doherty. I can hear the “What? Do you think I’m made of coke?” remarks right now.
Ricky Martin is speaking out against human trafficking. Now if we could just get someone to traffic him away from our consciences.
Finally, an excuse to go to Branson! America’s Got Talent is holding auditions there September 25-26.
George Clooney says he isn’t running for political office. He is probably getting laid right now, though, so there.
Fox’s Happy Hour is already on hiatus. We have a lot of listeners. I don’t think we have enough to be sad about Happy Hour going off the air just yet, though.