Aquarius
Revelations are just around the corner, ranging from the small to the large. Brace yourself, because big news about your favorite brand of rock tumbler will change your worldview forever.
Cancer
You’re so generous that you try to respond to people’s requests — even if they’re not quite sure what they want. Smile and nod as they speak, but subtly take control of the situation. Thank God you bought that chloroform travel kit.
Scorpio
An exciting turn of events leaves you torn. Luckily, you have Scotch Tape.
Aries
Extravagance and impulsiveness combine in some delightfully stimulating ways today. You’re usually so frugal, so practical, but when you see a life-size replica of Ozzie Canseco, you just can’t resist.
Stooks Proverb: Practice makes perfect. Just ask O.J. He played football quite well.