Dustin Diamond says he isn’t involved with the release of his Dirty Sanchez technique to the world. He says he and his friends make sex tapes and they try to keep one-upping each other. The gambling site BetUS.com is in the lead to own the rights and distribute the tape, at a rumored cost of $30 to watch, you filthy piece.
The threat of a psychiatric evaluation hastened Michael Jackson’s agreement with Debbie Rowe over custody of their kids. You have to give Michael props for knowing that a psychiatric exam would show how much of a freak he is.
Anna Nicole Smith did not get married to that one lawyer guy. They simply committed to being there for each other, and plan on making it official in the future. If she remembers what’s going on.
Celebrities from Paris Hilton to theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking have signed up to get a brief spaceflight from billionaire Richard Branson’s company in 2008. I am shocked I haven’t seen someone in a Stephen Hawking outfit for Halloween yet.
Lindsay Lohan was seen with her ex the other day. They haven’t even been broken up for a week, and she was with Paris’ ex, Stavros Niarchos the day before. Maybe she just hooked up with Stavros so she could have some new STDs to pass on to her ex before breaking up again.
Liza Minnelli has signed on as a guest star for Law & Order. Get ready to regret that HDTV purchase.
Robert Downey Jr.’s been cast as Iron Man. I always thought he’d be a good Back Tar Heroin Man, but I guess this’ll do.
Avril Lavigne’s apologizing for hocking some loogies at the paparazzi. Especially since she had a sinus infection.
Robin Williams is out of rehab. Now he can get back to acting and being annoying as hell.
Scarlett Johansson is Esquire’s “Sexiest Woman Alive.” I guess I’m okay with that.
More good-looking people news: Miss Czech Republic is now Miss World. Gotta be a sympathy vote.
Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are having some problems. This article says it has to do Tony being seven years younger than Eva.
Beyonce has a new clothing line. Sadly, the clothes aren’t fitting people. Beyonce may want to let them know they need to turn their ass motors on before squeezing into her clothes.
I caught last night’s SNL on Tivo. It was the best episode I’ve seen in years. I hope it wasn’t just because Dane Cook was hosting. Here’s an article on Seth Meyes joining Amy Poehler on Weekend Update.
It sucks not having cable. I guess I’ll just try to catch the Dane Train on repeat.