Stooksoscope for Monday

Aquarius

No one, but no one can bring the wacky the way you can. Except you know that your ideas are far from wacky — it’s just that everyone else is so hopelessly boring! I mean, come on, who wouldn’t appreciate a sweater woven from 100% American back hair.

Cancer

The inner worth of a person is never visible in the outer shell. You know that, especially since you dissected that circus clown.

Scorpio

Some zany ideas will put you in a tailspin. Your first instinct may be to pass on these kooky brainstorms, but hold on. Write everything down and save it for later. Just make sure your ideas don’t fall into the hands Unibrow Sexaholics Magazine.

Aries

You’re ready to strike out on your own with some original and extremely brainy ideas. You’ll be better off mulling over these concepts in private, in a very dark room with African tribal music playing in the background.

Stooks Proverb: Patience is a virtue. So is sitting through just the audio from an episode of “Baywatch.”