So, what was the tipping point in Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock’s relationship?
Could’ve been Borat. Pam’s in Borat, playing herself. I don’t remember her doing anything too filthy, but Kid Rock wasn’t happy after seeing it. “You’re nothing but a whore! You’re a slut! How could you do that movie?” Are they sure he’s talking about the Borat movie, and not some other piece of Pam’s cinematic career?
Or Maybe PETA broke them up. Pamela’s big into PETA. Kid Rock is big into hunting. She must’ve figured out what “hunting” means.
Here’s what being married to Kid Rock turns you into.
Speaking of PETA, they’ve named Nicole Richie “Worst Dressed Celebrity.” An impressive feat, considering her shortage of surface area for fur.
Here’s what they said about her: “This pelt-wearing party girl is all animal skin and bones. She’s an incredible shrinking woman with the heart to match.”
Here’s what they said about runner-up Ashley Olson: “Wearing fur does add 20 pounds, but if Ashley wants to fill out her frame, we suggest using a fork instead.”
Eva Longoria also made the list: “You’d think she’d be more sympathetic to the plight of rabbits considering the way she screws around like one on Wisteria Lane.”
Meanwhile, Nicole Richie posted this on her MySpace about her former stylist:
“BLIND ITEM:
What 35 year old raisin face whispers her order of 3 peices of asparagus for dinner at Chateau everynight, and hides her deathly disorder by pointing the finger at me, and used her last paycheck I wrote her to pay for a publisist instead of a nutritionist?
HINT: Her nickname is lettucecup…”
I think I may have solved the “why in the hell are Britney and Paris hanging out at Britney’s house for when they could be whoring it up on the town?” mystery. Britney, remembering she’s a mom, found out her kid had an ear infection. Paris, liking the idea of playing with Britney’s children as if they were Cabbage Patch Kids, decided to help.
Michael Jackson’s nanny says she’ll be traveling with Michael and Bill Clinton to Rwanda to raise money. Pause for a mental picture. Gross.
Tracy Morgan’s been arrested for drunk driving. He could’ve even avoided jail time, but he turned down a plea offer. Not sure why he turned it down, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with Colin Quinn being the worst Saturday Night Live cast member of all time.
Lindsay Lohan bought an $800 pair of diamond encrusted handcuffs. For trampsing purposes.
