As of this writing, Robert Goulet lies heavily sedated in a Los Angeles hospital bed, awaiting a lung transplant to avoid a tragic demise at the age of 73. Yet America, thrilled with California wildfires and Marie Osmond fainting, looks the other way. By the way, I just can’t get over how ridiculous this whole…
Britney Spears has a messed up white Mercedes to go with the black one she used in a hit and run. She’s having such a difficult time driving. Her brake keeps sticking to her vagina. Such a shame. I only bring this up to remind you of the times when we went out of our…
Enjoy this video from a Britney Spears ally. Note: contains language not suitable for small children or a touchy workplace.
(12:55) Scoop podcast Kevin Federline’s holding up his divorce with Britney until she can prove she can handle joint custody. She got the roach a little saturated last time. TMZ says Britney gave her mom a legal notice to stay away from her kids if she’s on medication that could impair her abilities to be…
(4:39) Scoop podcast Paris Hilton sat down with Larry King last night, and came off quite nicely. Larry King, on the other hand, came off quite creepy old manish. Paris has landed herself on the cover of People magazine. It was a tossup between her and Rosie, so they went with the choice that would…
Scoop podcast (8:57) WWE wasted no time forwarding text messages from Chris Benoit to his coworkers. Almost all of them simply mention where his physical address was, as if someone should go there and check things out when they didn’t hear from him. Good detective work, WWE! They also want everyone to know that “roid…
Scoop Podcast (6:03) Paris Hilton got out of jail just after midnight this morning. She lost 10 pounds in there, fighting back cravings for Taco Bell and Polish Sausage. Paris wants to open a halfway house to help other inmates transition to law-abiding lives. The night-vision cameras are already on order. Lohan plans to continue…
Scoop podcast (7:32) Britney’s album has been delayed. They’re having a hard time getting her legs to ratchet shut for the album cover. It looks like those rumors of Today paying Paris $1 million were BS. Larry King managed to snag the interview for Wednesday night. This pretty much confirms her oldest lay to date.…
Scoop podcast (6:29) The New York Post says The Today Show is paying Paris Hilton $1 million for her first post-jail interview. Paris says that’s not true. She can make that kind of cash working the back lot of whatever show she prefers. Pauly Shore showed TMZ.com around his property, trying to disprove Wes Craven’s…
Scoop podcast (7:46) Rosie might have too many demands to get The Price Is Right job. She lives in New York. The show tapes in L.A. One rumor has Rosie saying she’ll shoot a month’s worth of shows over a four day period every 30 days. It coincides with her monthly, four-day coleslaw binges. Brad…
Scoop podcast (9:14) Paris is reading “The Secret” in jail. I smell an Oprah “Girlfriend, what were you thinking?” exchange on the horizon. Nicole Richie’s taking her DUI case to trial July 11th. Does she stand a chance at beating the rap? Or is it a simple matter of the courthouse having toilets that just…
Scoop – Paris’ hood fights back (4:37) Paris Hilton is reading self-help books in jail. On top of that, she’s planning on ditching her friends, and even made a cell-made Father’s Day Card for her dad. Work those crayons, girlfriend. Paris Hilton’s neighbors are a little sick of the attention and issued a neighborhood memo…
Hoff’s shirtless, drunken hamburger struggle video has cost him visitation rights until at least May 21, when a judge will decide his future rights. Hoff says a bad experience with fast food stopped him from performing in The Producers last month. Helpful tip: you really shouldn’t eat it off the floor. Paris Hilton has officially…
Paris Hilton says her 45 day jail sentence is unfair and “I don’t deserve this.” It seems a bit much for driving with a suspended license, but she deserves something. Maybe they could just put a chastity bracelet on her goods.Paris’ mom is pretty pissed about the whole deal. She told the prosecutor “this is…
David Hasselhoff “appears intoxicated, lying on the floor, wearing only a pair of blue jeans while attempting to eat a hamburger” in a fun video shot by his 16-year-old daughter. Lindsay Lohan is planning on making the most of her 21st birthday in July, when she can finally get into clubs. She lives a rough…
Cops pulled over Britney Spears tour bus on the way to her comeback show at the House of Blues in San Diego. The bus was causing a bit of a traffic jam. Britney must’ve thrown a “pressed ham” at the window. Katie Holmes might be a little too flirtatious with a co-star from Mad Money.…
A couple tabloids say Roseanne is the person to beat in the race to replace Rosie. I’d be cool with that, so it’ll end up being Kathie Lee Gifford. Speaking of which, yesterday I mentioned that Kathy Griffin was #3 on TV Guide’s poll to replace Rosie. Is it possible the American public mistook Kathie…
Britney got pulled over for speeding, but police let her off with just a warning. One of those times where it pays to go sans pantie. Meanwhile, she’s writing a tell-all book about her time with Kevin Federline. Whether it’ll include material post-exposed-snatch remains to be seen.A New York art gallery has a sculpture of…
London Police arrested Hugh Grant for throwing a family-sized tub of baked beans at a photographer. He also kicked the guy three times and possibly told him he hopes his kids die of cancer. Seems reasonable to me. The New York Post says Rosie tried to kick Barbara Walters off The View. Or fart her…
As expected, Rosie announced she’ll be leaving The View when her contract expires this Summer. Also, as expected, Donald Trump took credit for “Rosie’s firing.” High-five rape in action. Alec Baldwin taped an appearance for this Friday’s View, and it’s supposed to have been quite the scene, indicating he wants off 30 Rock. Sounds like…
Alec Baldwin fired his agents for “personal reasons.” To spend more time leaving angry voicemails? Kim Bassinger scored a modeling deal with a skincare product. No word on an anger management product for Baldwin just yet. TMZ says Paris Hilton and Josh Henderson broke up, citing the “single” MySpace status for Josh. He even modified…
Joe Francis has 23 days left in jail. The Girls Gone Wild founder pleaded guilty to contempt, for messing up negotiations with seven woman who weren’t happy about their breasts becoming public. In prison, some cop killer constantly yells “Girls Gone Wild! Joe Francis! Whoo!” Sanjaya says: “I’m not just a musician, I’m an entertainer.”…
People Magazine brought Sanjaya as their guest to the White House Correspondents Dinner. He wasn’t asked to sing. Phil Stacey replaced Sanjaya as the contestant to vote for at votefortheworst.com. Is it because he wears a different queer hat each week? “Rouge is my secret power.” Larry Birkhead said he needed to call his travel…
Britney Spears got a parking ticket. At least she’s still avoiding charges for random pieces of litter falling from her nether regions. Paris Hilton drove away from a meeting with her lawyer about driving with a suspended license. Lindsay Lohan doesn’t think she’s an addict. She doesn’t think in general, either, so this might be…
Paula Abdul tried to get preferential treatment on a Southwest Airlines flight. Denied. Surely Southwest could at least muster some Viaka to pacify her. Larry Birkhead is totally copying Howard K., hiring a lawyer to go after tabloids for defamation. Larry sold photos of dad and baby to OK! magazine. He’s putting it in a…
Britney Spears blames Paris Hilton for everyone seeing her vagina, alcoholism, Kevin Federline…Okay, not Federline. But might as well throw him in there. Paris Hilton has a May 4th court date to decide whether to revoke her probation for driving with s suspended license. If she does have to do some time, maybe she could…
Sanjaya took a trip to Dodger Stadium. He made the JumboTron. The entire stadium booed him off the screen. Ha. Madonna is in Africa doing charity work, not “give me your baby” work. J. Lo and Marc Anthony are suing the National Enquirer in Britain for a “J. Larcthony Heroin Scandal” story. Going after J.…
Britney Spears is struggling to find the perfect hat to compliment her wig. Soon enough, it’ll be a liquor dispensing one. Larry Birkhead is trying to work out a deal with Anna Nicole’s mom, without the aid of a lawyer. She might be the reason for no official word on custody from the court. Howard…
The Britney Spears Diet: Red Bull and dancing. No liquor…that we know of. Britney says she doesn’t have a crush on Laker player Luke Walton. They’d probably think she were high again if she admitted to that. “I basketball good.” Tabloids claim Katie Holmes is pissed about a book called “Hollywood Car Wash,” a book…
You can buy Anna Nicole’s last film May 1st. It’s called “Illegal Aliens,” starring Anna and Joanie Laurer as aliens who transform into hot chicks to protect the earth from evil intergalactic forces. Joanie used to play China on WWE. If you gotta go out, go out big. Check out the mysterious wording at the…