Scoop

Britney Spears turned 25 Saturday. During the day, she went to the zoo with Sean Preston. She went to dinner with some friends, one of whom gave her panties as a gift. Then, she met up with Paris Hilton at Hyde, a club so exclusive that even Jodie “Stephanie from Full House” Sweetin gets denied at the door.

Britney’s first ex, Jason Alexander, and K-Fed’s ex, Shar Jackson have taped Monday’s episode of The Dr. Ablow Show. He says Britney threatened him after their split: “Don’t say anything you’d regret.” So, he waited a couple years and “oh snap”-ed her on The Dr. Ablow Show in from of a worldwide audience of ten people! A-hole.

Justin Timberlake and Britney were at the same club the other night. Both had their panties on.

George Clooney partying with Britney? George says “no.” Probably because she doesn’t look as good as Danny DeVito below the waist.

Kevin Federline is pitching a reality show to the producers of E’s “House of Carters.” That seems about right.

Paris Hilton canceled her appearance at the Billboard Awards Monday night because of her joke material. She thought some of the jokes would be hurtful to her friends. What could the writers possibly have had prepared on Britney, Lohan or Nicole? It’s not like Britney’s vagina has been flopping out, Lindsay Lohan’s going to AA and Nicole Richie is walking death, or anything.

By the way, Lohan’s mom outed Lindsay’s AA experience to Ryan Seacrest. Don’t worry about a boozeless Lohan, though. Her publicist says “And, by the way, she’s not saying…she’ll stop drinking tomorrow. I’m confused.

The Enquirer says Nicole Richie got a boob job. I’m guessing Santa wishes she had ass implants too, as she sat on his lap for a photo, possibly coming close to severing St. Nick’s leg at the thigh.

Michael Richards agreed to apologize in person to the black guys he went crazy on. They have a celebrity lawyer, so Ben Franklin may be doing the majority of the apologizing.

Is Oprah trying to screw subscribers to “O?” That’s what one subscriber thinks, as she sued the magazine for double-billing her subscription, and threatening her with a bad credit rating if she didn’t pay up. At least they didn’t unleash Steadman on her.

Oprah’s new gardening expert was unveiled last week, but she neglected to mention his past as a male stripper at the Australian equivalent of Chippendales.