The Enquirer says O.J. Simpson’s addicted to painkillers. At least he’s over that whole addiction to slaughtering people phase.
Jessica Simpson is in the midst of a meltdown so severe, Ashlee’s been called in to cheer her up. In Touch says Jessica’s depressed and even spent two days locked in her trailer on the set of “Blonde Ambition.” They say her mess-up at the Kennedy Center Honors is responsible for her depression. I’m thinking she’s a little sick of seeing her dumbass in all those DirecTV commercials.
Some think Paris Hilton is now calling Britney Spears “The Animal,” to get back at Brit for ending their friendship. Or maybe she just thinks Britney has some kind of creature living in her crotch.
Nicole Richie’s dad says maybe she’s be better off in prison. Wouldn’t they have to install mesh screening over the bars to keep her from escaping?
No one’s really sure where Kevin Federline is living these days. He still has wheels, so at the very least he’s still got his Suburban to crash in.
Tara Reid has been showing off her body at Caribbean beaches the last couple days. No areoli sightings just yet.
Keith Urban took a break from his rehab to spend time with his family. Sounds like another Kodak Christmas.
James Brown’s corpse is barely cold, yet Spike Lee has announced a movie on him.
The Enquirer says the behind-the-scenes crew at Grey’s Anatomy is jealous of the stars’ exclusive gym on the set. Although, I don’t think their jealousy stems from potential intimate steam room encounters between Isaiah Washington and T.R. Knight.
Courteney Cox got a speeding ticket. I guess it’s better than having David Arquette leave her for Rosie’s fat ass or something.
“Are you sure I need a ticket officer? I was in a Springsteen video…”