Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Someone wants to tell you something, but you’re on sensory overload. If you can find a rhythm with all your multitasking, you’ll be able to hear what they have to tell you. If that doesn’t work, it might be time for Miracle Ear.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Are you ready to do the right thing? If you have the courage of your convictions, your gamble may pay off in more ways than you can imagine: free drinks and a comp room if you lose enough.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Sweating out your frustrations isn’t just good for your body, it’s great for your heart and soul too. Unfortunately, your pungent odor, combined with your hatred of showers may cost you your next job opportunity.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
It’s so sweet when everything just falls right into place. Your hard work pays off, and your sparkling, effortless charm speaks to all the right people. Go ahead and pat yourself on the back — you deserve it. Can’t get your hand to reach your back? You probably don’t deserve the pat, after all.
Stooks Proverb: Don’t judge a book by its cover, but by its flammability. You’ll need it for your Emergency S’more Kit.