Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Figure out what you want, because there’s a good chance that you’ll get it. Who would’ve thought that a greeter collapsing at Wal-Mart would cause the perfect distraction for stealing condoms.
Gemini (May 21 – June 21)
So things look a certain way, but does that necessarily reflect the entire truth of the situation? Have you learned nothing from Magic Eye?
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You’re a genius when it comes to social arrangements. Your secret? Yahtzee.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Brush up on your listening skills, because the universe has a message: brush up on your teeth-brushing skills. You could feed a small Indonesian village with what’s buried in your gums.
Stooks Proverb: Take a hair of the dog that bit you. If you were Mel Gibson, you’d have a full fur coat by now.