Stooksoscope

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

That means keeping it simple, silly. Cut all the unnecessary trim and you’ll find the absolute essence of success. Your wildest dreams come true, especially when you stick close to the original source: the tailpipe on an ’88 Cutlass.


Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You don’t want to get swept away by passion — or do you? Actually, that doesn’t sound half bad right now. So just put yourself in the path of something that makes you extremely excited and brace yourself. A rolling Louie Anderson can pack quite the punch.


Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Someone’s feeling awfully sexy, frisky, funny and lovely. Why, that person just might be you! And no wonder — you’re living proof that there’s truth in advertising: sexual harassment does exist in the workplace.


Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Usually you excel at examining the nitty-gritty, but the stars give you the gift of being able to see the big picture and the small details that make up the whole. No one can paper mache quite like you.


Stooks Proverb: Practice makes perfect. But beware: being too perfect might draw comparisons to your 7th grade class mate, Skinflute Sally.

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