Stooksoscope

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

The first step to dealing with your current mood is to acknowledge that it’s there instead of ignoring it. Shake off that funk. Or, at least do us all a favor, and Febreeze it.


Gemini (May 21 – June 21)

You just love playing devil’s advocate, and you’re great at it. You know how to make people say ‘I never thought of it that way!’ Make sure everyone knows you’re kidding so no feelings get hurt. You just can’t be too careful with Pope jokes these days.


Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Though you may not realize it now, you’re on the verge of changing your life. You might find more in common with another culture than you think. However, the homeless sleeping under blankets of Little Caesars boxes doesn’t justify you doing the same on your leather couch.


Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

This seems to be another situation your outsized expectations have created. If you’re feeling more fizzle than sizzle, it’ time to reevaluate the prospects you have. Luckily there are only two, and they both pick up their Welfare checks at the same time.


Stooks Proverb: Great minds think alike. Bad minds think like the guy who played the non-Paul-Reiser dad on My Two Dads.

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