Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Put your determination on display. Yeah, just keep sitting there with your Pringles can on the Polydent-stained coach you got from your grandpa.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Let the rational reenter your life as you restore organization to some parts that have gone topsy-turvy. A little chaos every now and then is necessary, but now it's time to clean everything up. Don’t ask O.J. for advice on that. “If I cleaned up after slaughtering” wasn’t picked up, either.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

You're in the mood to live large. Consult Mark Mangino for tips.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

It's easy to judge someone based on something that's actually just a small part of the overall picture. But should you really base your opinions of people on your ability to solve the Magic Eye puzzles at their house?

Stooks Proverb: Laughter is the best medicine, excluding diseases native to Britney’s crotch.