Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

Now that you've pinpointed what you really want to do, you'll be surprised at the influential person who steps forward to help you on your chosen path: a mummified Don Knotts.

Cancer (June 22 - July 22)

You need to shed whatever's not working, mainly, your Diddy-line Raccoon Dog fur jacket.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Acting with integrity ensures that the future of this situation will be as smooth as possible. The stars suggest you play it straight, so maybe you should lose the two-sizes-two-small Power Puff Girls Summer Short pajamas you’ve been strutting your stuff in.

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Cooperation could turn to competition if the players' aggressive impulses go unchecked. This may not be unwelcome, however, since passions will be aroused in all kinds of areas, especially your medulla oblongata.

Stooks Proverb: He who has no children, brings them up well. Or, at least better than Michael Jackson.