Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Defending yourself is a waste of time and energy, especially when you're not the source of the problem. Focus on the task at hand. It’s been your turn in Jenga for like five minutes now.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21)

Focus on bonding with your family. It's time to heal issues from the past before you charge ahead with your current endeavors. Start with the time you walked in on your dad wearing a training bra while giving himself a pep talk about how “the girls” will move up to the big leagues one day.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

Work and personal concerns are really on your mind, and you're feeling the pressure. Oh, maybe it’s the Louie Anderson sitting on your chest.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Delay important emotional decisions until you've got a clearer, calmer head. It’ll take about five more hours for the Robitussin to wear off.

Stooks Proverb: The early bird gets the worm. Big Bird gets hives from worms, so he’s cool with sleeping in with his arm draped over Snuffy’s hairy chest.