A California meat packer is recalling 143 million pounds of beef (bold mine).
Hallmark/Westland Meat Packing Co voluntarily recalled all of its beef produced since February 1, 2006. USDA said Hallmark violated rules against the slaughter of “downer cattle” — that is, animals too ill to walk.
How, exactly, do you recall beef from two years ago? Does the recall cover the stool samples I’ve been saving for the past two years? Do I get a refund?
The Humane Society of the United States showed videotapes on January 30 showing workers at the plant using several abusive techniques to make animals stand up and pass a pre-slaughter inspection. These included ramming cattle with forklift blades and using a hose to simulate the feeling of drowning.
They waterboarded the cattle? Somehow this technique made retard cows stand? Or is this just a cover? Maybe cows were plotting to use their “downer cattle” to stage intricate milk squirting attacks on ethanol plant workers complicit in occupying the cows’ land?
There’s plenty to be answered in this story. For now, let’s take solace in the fact that the CIA didn’t destroy these tapes before they came to the public’s attention.
Downer cattle (See: Rosie O’Donnell)