Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) Feeling like you’re ready to go beyond what you know and start exploring what really gets you excited? The stars say there’s no time like the present, except for the times that a guy takes it in the junk on the Saget edition of “America’s Funniest Home Videos.” Cancer…
Uh oh! Madonna’s new baby is wearing the Kaballah bracelet! It all makes sense now. Kevin Federline says if you hate on him, it just motivates him and then you better watch out! Bob Barker’s retiring from The Price is Right. He’ll do his last show in June. Unbelievable stat: he’s been doing the show…
It’s Halloween, so we asked, what frightens you? Segment 1 – Clowns and midgets (2:25). Segment 2 – Cubicles (0:45). Segment 3 – Pez and midgets revisited (2:00). Segment 4 – Public restrooms (1:47). New fear, anyone? DeMone the Demon called to warn us about his intentions this Halloween (2:08).
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Dreams? Intuition? This is unlike you — but the strangest thing of all is that you’re actually enjoying this softer side of your personality. Use it! Accessing a different kind of intelligence only makes you stronger, and it may help you figure out how to defrost your freezer. Gemini…
It’s Halloween, which means Kevin Federline’s new CD is out. Here’s one troubling review giving it a thumbs up. It may not matter, though. He’s already canceling tour dates because of poor ticket sales. Maybe if he did bong hits right on stage he could turn things around. Witnesses say Nicole Richie collapsed at a…
Photoshop Adam and I witnessed a couple d-bags trying to pick up a couple drunk chicks on the sidewalk, while the guys were in the car. Real classy. We discussed. Segment 1 (2:03).Segment 2 (0:49). This weekend, Chris’ team won the World Series. I’ve always been suspicious of Chris’ complete lack of emotion on most…
Leo (July 23 – August 22) Your magnetic personality gains an extra dose of cool glamor, but it’s definitely accompanies by a touch-me-not air. People might wonder what’s going on with you, but you just need a little space right now. And some hand sanitizer. And a dedicated handkerchief for opening doors. Sagittarius (November 22…
For the first time in forever, Michael Jackson is making a public appearance. He’ll accept an achievement award at the World Music Awards in London. Sadly for Michael, I can’t seem to think of any prepubescent male artists he could prey on there. Speaking of Michael, some random British woman says she’s the real baby…
Good calls today, everyone. Thanks. Here are the clips. Police ticket quota/Creepy archery teacher (4:15). “Practice! We talking ’bout practice!”/Political ads (3:51). “Recess is for violence” (1:26). PC Halloween (4:01). Spanking other peoples’ kids (4:20). No men in Salina/Hansel returns (1:57). Sperm in the Salina water (0:42). Spank it, or serve dinner on it. Your…
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) You’re able to accomplish something tremendous. You suddenly have the insight to realize that you’re in this for a marathon, not a sprint. Luckily, you’ve got the cankles for the job. Cancer (June 22 – July 22) You’re feeling quiet and serious. It’s a great time to draw up…
Nicole Richie’s in treatment, and working with a team who specializes in “nutrition.” Or, as the rest of us call it, “eating.” They say it’s not for an eating disorder, but it is to find out why she can’t gain weight. Shucks, that is a mystery! “I need to get Geppetto on the Blacberry to…
I was invited to a Halloween party, declined the invite, and then got scolded for not knowing how important going to Halloween parties is as “women are easy on Halloween.” We discussed. Segment 1 – It’s just easier to see the sluts (2:35).Segment 2 – The KKK Connection (1:11).Segment 3 – Double standard (3:33). “Well,…
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) A little fire in your belly helps you attack a new task with vim and vigor. It’s time to eat those Fire Sauce packets you’ve been hoarding from Taco Bell. Gemini (May 21 – June 21) Being smart is one thing, but you’ve got the ability to transcend mere…
Madonna wasn’t that much of a blubbering idiot on Wednesday’s Oprah, and it helped that O is on her side. But now, hopefully trying to keep things funny, Ricky Martin is giving is support to Madonna’s adoption. To frighten even more people, he’s even threatening to adopt. Dr. Burke from Grey’s Anatomy publicly apologized for…
If you noticed, we were in clip show mode yesterday because I was at the Kansas Association of Broadcasters Convention. Hear about my journey and why I appreciate working here more today than I did before the event. The convention was at the Prairie Band Casino in Topeka. One of our listeners let us know…
Leo (July 23 – August 22) You have leadership abilities that you haven’t even tapped yet. Add to that a sense of optimism that draws even more people to you. This is perfect, because you’ve been in the mood to lead a movement. Rise ant children! Rise! Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Consider yourself…
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have officially announced a wedding date of Saturday, November 18th in Italy. Hopefully they will stay there. TMZ got a copy of the birth certificate for the latest Federline: Jayden James. And it is a boy. And they think Britney will shove him in everyone’s face just in time for…
I saw a couple fighting in the Target parking lot Saturday night. Since Target is a happy place, I figured it must’ve been over something stupid. This led to a discussion on stupid fights, cranberries and our company softball game (5:09). The Cranwhore The latest Stooks Voicemail (370-HACK) (1:49). “Terrible Relationship Advice.” (1:02)
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) You’re magnetic — truly, a creature of irresistible mystery. Get set to dazzle the next person who crosses your path. They’ll stay dazzled! And they’ll even tell their friends! Holding a dead squirrel in your mouth is no easy feat. Cancer (June 22 – July 22) Trying to read…
Tax fraud master Wesley Snipes has been found in Namibia, birthplace of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. He’s filming a movie there. Ouch. How bad of a movie could that be if it took them this long to realise he’s there shooting it? Keith Urban’s going back to rehab. Not for coke this time, but for alcohol.…
Segment 1 – No respect for linemen/Take it to Maury (1:59) Segment 2 – What’s wrong with men/The High Lady on football (4:17) Segment 3 – I need a psychic/A psychic calls with bad news (3:19) Segment 4 – Men problems (4:46) Segment 5 – Is that Snagglepuss? (3:37)
Capricorn Are you secretly holding onto an old longing? Be careful — if you let it sit inside you unvoiced, you could start to feel resentful. Emotions like those can start to fester, just like that Taco Bell bean burrito that fell behind your couch two months ago. Gemini There’s a part of you that…
Anna Nicole’s non-boyfriend potential baby daddy has a creepy website up as a tribute to the baby he says is his. All the baby has to do now is get old enough to read, write and understand symbolism and she’ll understand his true love. It looks like Anna isn’t in any hurry to get back…
We talked about one of the more sensitive issues facing America today: what do you do when you’re talking to someone who has a boog hanging? Segment 1 (4:21)Segment 2 (3:55) “Poor, poor ‘Pick It.’ All those bacteria-infested arms up his nostrils aren’t helping his snot problem.” In other show activity… A Harry Potter fan…
This week’s John Stossel Pick: Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person. Five stashes.
Leo A little modesty adds an intriguing element to your usual self-confidence. Others are intrigued by this humble side of you, but they mostly think your megaphone simply broke. Sagittarius It’s time for you to take it to the limit. In the process, you might discover that those so-called limits are really just self-perceived limitations.…
You could have Kevin Federline at your next party for just $15 thousand. You just have to let him promote his CD. And have a fully stocked pantry of Cheetos. Inventor: The “Sunglass in the Wife Beater” look Shocking news: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ wedding plans have changed. They’ll get married next month in…
Here’s our latest video. Thanks to Photoshop Adam for the video/artwork.
Askmen.com is encouraging its readers to ask for a girl’s email address instead of her phone number. We discussed. Segment 1 – featuring the High Lady (5:02)Segment 2 (0:30)Segment 3 (2:16)Segment 4 (4:34)Segment 5 (4:39) In other show activity… One of our listeners has done some research on the porn industry (3:57). We check the…
Aquarius Education takes you even further than you thought it would. So the topic is unusual — after all, if you want to learn about ant farming practices, why shouldn’t you? It could come in handy in an unexpected manner: making your boss do the “ants in my pants” dance. Cancer Giving back to the…