Did I eat feces?

I ate some Totino’s Party Pizza last weekend. It was the first time I’ve noshed on Totino’s in forever. My timing always blows, as indicated in this news:

Almost five million Totino’s and Jeno’s frozen pizzas with pepperoni toppings are being recalled because the pepperoni may be contaminated with E. coli.

What did I do to deserve this? I know I have had diarrhea at least once since the ingestion, so I could easily be hosed. Do they actually expect people who buy Totino’s to be willing to return them?

The frozen pizzas were produced in its Wellston, Ohio, plant and distributed throughout the United States. The plant is currently making other pizzas, but not with pepperoni, General Mills spokesman Tom Forsythe said.

Does this mean we won’t be able to get pepperoni topping on Totino’s Party Pizzas at any store? Have they taken them off the shelves completely? If not, you’d better run to the store before they start price gouging. If they are off the shelves, I hope you have a padlock for that Totino’s stockpile in your freezer. This could get messy like the bloody excrement of an E. coli victim.

Side note: People who eat Jeno’s pizzas probably do deserve E. coli.

Side note 2: I always thought the sausage was most likely to be tainted. Go figure.