Aging Rock Stars: Me no like Internet

Gene Simmons shares his insight on the music industry.

There is nothing in me that wants to go in there and do new music. How are you going to deliver it? How are you going to get paid for it if people can just get it for free?

The record industry doesn’t have a f—ing clue how to make money. It’s only their fault for letting foxes get into the henhouse and then wondering why there’s no eggs or chickens. Every little college kid, every freshly-scrubbed little kid’s face should have been sued off the face of the earth. They should have taken their houses and cars and nipped it right there in the beginning. Those kids are putting 100,000 to a million people out of work. How can you pick on them? They’ve got freckles. That’s a crook. He may as well be wearing a bandit’s mask.

Great, now a less talented version of Lars (see my take on Lars) is out blaming the Internet for inability to sell music, instead of blaming the natural decline of aging rock stars’ abilities along with their ball sacks.

I remember when Napster was on fire, me and all my freckle-faced friends sat around downloading KISS until sunrise every weekend. Although, you couldn’t see our frecklie faces behind our bandit’s masks, which never smelled thanks to our constant state of freshly-scrubbed faciness.

Sorry Gene, your fans’ closest encounters with computers entail a drooling gawk at the self-checkout stand at Walmart.

And Gene, while I’ve got your attention, how about you lay off the sexual prowess talk? Nobody wants to hear about your mangy ass rubbing up on anything.

2 Replies to “Aging Rock Stars: Me no like Internet”

  1. Gene Simmons SHOULD NOT be singing the blues about the record industry not providing him with anything. He claims to have slept with nearly 5,000 woman. Do you think they would have given you the time of day, Gene, if you were still a school teacher in New York City?

    The decline in record sales should simply force these musicians into doing what musicians SHOULD be doing: touring and playing live. In other words, get your aging fat asses out of your mansions and work for it, you greedy bastards!

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