“Has-beens unite!”
American Gladiators is back. Here are some thoughts.
Does Hulk Hogan know he isn’t a Gladiator? That sleeveless black shirt combined with his constant flexing worry me.
Laila Ali has a frighteningly low voice.
I’m not sure what I think about the Gladiator “Wolf.” I could do without his howling. Nitro has to be rolling over in his grave for this one.
Okay, not really dead. But dead inside, for sure.
Wow, that’s the most impressive Spandex ass I’ve ever seen. Once again, Nitro has to be rolling over in his grave for this one.
This Olive Garden commercial is simultaneously making me hungry and feeling a diarrhea coming on at the same time.
Hulk Hogan needs another coat of Crisco, stat!
The New York firefighter contestant, equipped with stereotypical accent, is dominating the professional skateboarder. If he wasn’t, I would hope the producers would rig it in the firefighter’s favor. Hopefully the skateboarder explains more of his tattoos soon.
The staged dialog on this show isn’t suitable for a community college’s cable commercial.
The Gladiator named Toa just yelled some weird language at one of the contestants. He’s also shirtless, which seems like an unfair advantage. He could put his bodybuilder nip in a competitor’s eye, effectively incapacitating the challenger.
I see that DirecTV is now using their commercials to piss all over my memories of Scooby-Doo.
The new version of “The Eliminator” kicks ass.
I can’t wait to tune into “Celebrity Apprentice” to find out how Gene Simmons insults Donald Trump‘s daughter! Seriously, if I start watching “Celebrity Apprentice,” you have permission to punch me in the face.
Jesus, there’s another hour of “Gladiators” coming on, and then a new episode tomorrow night. My life is ruined.
The new guy Gladiators are complete douche bags. Seriously. All of them.
I’m still waiting for Hogan to run on screen and leg drop someone in the middle of a challenge. Forty minutes left, Hogan. Make it happen!
Something about Laila Ali asking “You guys ready to watch them get it on?” makes me feel not so funny down there.
Oh no, Laila Ali just told a male competitor “You get me wet, we’ll have a problem.” Don’t worry Laila. I anticipate perpetual dryness at the hands of man for quite some time.
Text messages between me and my friend Kevin throughout this show have consisted of his brother Dan proclaiming himself in “The Wolf Pack,” both of them threatening to tryout for the show, Kevin’s crush on the Gladiator “Crush,” and me saying that Toa’s “Toa Constrictors” put Hogan’s 24-inch pythons to shame.
“Assault” is still the best game in the competition. Something about one-sided dodgeball with 100-mile-per-hour tennis balls makes me smile.
Do they sew those pants directly to Hulk Hogan’s legs?
The male-female cameltoe ratio is way out of whack on this show.
Insert more awful, canned dialog here.
They need to publish a stencil so you can create your own Wolf facial hair, without leaving your home!
For even more great Wolf poses, check out this ridiculous gallery on NBC.com
Overall, I wasn’t that impressed with A.G. Maybe it’s because I am not 12 anymore, but the Hogan/Ali tandem is terrible as are the Gladiators, like you said. I will say this; Wolf made me laugh outloud on two seperate occasions and he may be the only reason I give the show a second chance.
Wow, putting all your eggs in the “Wolf” basket. Good luck with that.
I agree it is terrible. Out of a two hour show there was about 30 min of competition, an 90 min of commentary that didn’t even entertain a 5 yr old. More games, less talk = decent A.G show. That is really why people watch…to see them kick the crap out of each other…we don’t care about their feelings. They can save that for Dr. Phil!
I like the awful commentary and over-prepared statements from the competitors. They’re following the “Deal or No Deal” formula with the cheesiness factor.
Interesting ideas… I wonder how the Hollywood media would portray this?