Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Take this recent lesson to heart. You know you deserve to be center stage, but all the time? Not only is that impossible, but it’s not even desirable. Take the time to think it out, and you’ll see how very true this is. Your infant juggling career may come under fire if it becomes too popular.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Someone needs your help, but he or she is too proud and fragile to actually come out and ask for it. Be a humanitarian and do a little behind-the-scenes work on their behalf. Make sure to keep your identity a secret. Use a fun code name, like Kinkyracoon118.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Your career and social success are strongly tied to how well you deal with others. Unfortunately, your second personality is holding you back. You really need to tell Saul to stop unziplocking other people’s snacks, causing them to slowly spoil throughout the day.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Finances have you more stressed out than usual. There’s a simple solution for a lot of your worries: Try spending less than you make, or spending someone else’s money altogether. Note: Louie Anderson is no longer a viable target for cash.
Stooks Proverb: The early bird gets the worm. But, your Aunt Mildred has that beat, because she has worms, plural.