Stooksoscope

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Some parties really want to get aggressive, but you don’t have to succumb to their combative tendencies. Give them one of your special brownies, their tone will change in no time.


Gemini (May 21 – June 21)

People from your past may rekindle old feelings. The million-dollar question is this: Do you want to create new memories with them? Make sure you don’t fall into old, bad habits. Remember how hard it was to explain your imaginary friends the last time?


Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Personal needs demand that you rethink your schedule. Maybe it’s time to finally succumb to reading on the toilet. Doonesbury seems like a good natural laxative, anyway.


Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

With so many new goings-on around you at home and at work, it’s time to take extra-special care of yourself on multiple levels. The stars just aren’t sure what level armpit tickling falls into.


Stooks Proverb: True love never grows old; it just gets wrinkly and sloppy.

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