Scoop

Friday night, Britney Spears made her first public appearance since rehab. She went to a dance class and had dinner with her girlfriends. Her vagina, meanwhile, stayed behind closed doors.

Mel Gibson to an expert on Mayan culture: “Lady, f**k off.” She had challenged some of the representations in his movie Apocalypto. How insulting…he didn’t even give her the obligatory salutation “sugar tits.”

“How ’bout we take this outside with a bottle of tequila?”

Miss USA Tara Conner handed her crown over to its new owner, Miss Tennessee, this weekend. I hope she boiled it first.

Dina Lohan says her daughter Lindsay tries to set her up with guys in Hollywood. Jon Lovitz seems like a good fit.

The photographers involved in the “Denise Richards snatches laptops, throws them off a balcony and grazes an old woman in a wheelchair” story are suing. The old woman is still confused.

I just found out Brooke Burke named her kid “Heaven Rain.” I hope these celebrities get high and come up with these names before the pregnancy.

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