Stooksoscope

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Enlightening influences are coming your way, thanks to those optimistic and happy-go-lucky stars. Those manic depressive stars are sleeping in after a weekend of binging.


Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Frustrated and fuming about delays on the career front? Think of this as an opportunity to slow down and think about the direction you’re headed: door-to-door magazine sales.


Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’re conscious of what’s fair to all the parties involved, especially concerning relationships. You figure a full leather setup is a fair tradeoff for your lover spanking you in a nun outfit.


Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

A potential argument doesn’t have to turn into a battle royal. A cage match will do.


Stooks Proverb: Don’t give advice in a crowd, especially if the crowd is compiled of lepers with a hugging addiction.

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