Stooksoscope

I’m hoping to axe the Stooksoscope by Monday. If you like it, you’d better try to trick me into keeping it.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Career opportunities present themselves in some surprising and subtle ways today. Although, some may say a Bill Gates hallucination isn’t all that subtle.


Gemini (May 21 – June 21)

Physical distance seems insurmountable, but in truth, mental boundaries are the biggest obstacles between two people. There’s a chance for real connection here, but you have to get your dog to cough up the remaining Connect Four pieces.


Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You’re an expert at finding the best in people. Remember the time you found the toxic properties of your aunt’s Boysenberry Pie? That possum had advanced decomposition in less than three hours. So, yeah, that’s the best you found in your aunt.


Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Lighten your load by telling your coworkers what’s on your mind. Pudding fight!


Stooks Proverb: Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. When you’re knocking over other small children for their eggs, one basket just isn’t enough.

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