Leo (July 23 - August 22)

There are few things more intoxicating than daydreams, Mel Gibson’s urine sample being one of them.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

A sudden burst of emotion could cause you to unleash your temper if you don't take care. Otherwise you might just rip the head off the Happy Meal toy you just got.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

You're inspired to get up off of that thing and start moving. You might want to Febreze that recliner after you peal yourself off your own sweat stain.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Head, heart and a sense of connection: You've got it all in balance right now. Just add a little intellectual energy and a Twizzler binger to the current mix of influences and you've got the recipe for success.

Stooks Proverb: Never write a letter when you’re angry. You’re likely to paper cut your wrists in that state of mind.