Paying too much at the pump? Inspired by posts at theprewitt.com, we pleaded with our audience to get creative and come up with some ways to save on gas. They did okay (Segment 1 ) (Segment 2 ), but our best advice . And even Swedish Schoolboy . Speaking of gas, . I can’t elaborate, [...]
Matt Stooks.com
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Monthly Archives April 2006
Is MySpace the Devil?
I gave in and joined MySpace yesterday. I can already tell that it will own my soul. I’m desperate for friends, by the way. So join me at myspace.com/mattstooks. We took to the air with this, and got some interesting feedback: MySpace is at least related to the Devil on some level. has a [...]
Crazy for Swayze
Once again, someone called our show looking for “Swap Shop.” We made an exception and . led to a frightening Patrick Swayze reach-a-round reference. “Swayze, hands off my clay phallus.” Today’s Daily Quote of the Day for Today: “Abdul’s ‘dumb’ is chemically induced.” – Chris Casey, saying Kellie Pickler would win in a ‘Dumb-off’ [...]
Yogurt…right in the face
Yogurt is pretty good. But, unlike my co-host, I refuse to eat more than one yogurt in a row. GoGurt is a fun yogurt treat. As you can see, they cleverly use a see-through package for different games and light sabers and such. “Now that I have my weapon, time to murder Jar Jar Binks…right [...]
Eat my ass, Collegian!
Check out this horrifying coverage of last week’s Trike-A-Thon. Then, check out me : The Riley County Fire Department came in first place at the event with their makeshift tricycle, which was adorned with a light, an American flag and a horn. Ironically, the light caught fire and started smoking during the race, but the [...]
It’s Earth Day Eve…smoke some cheeba!
Earth Day is tomorrow. To celebrate, . We had . And we had one . Without Earth Day, the oceans will boil the dolphins, and birds will develop a blue, log-like apparatus…and Chinese writing will appear in the corners of all children’s drawings. Translation: “Oh no, it’s Godzirra!” Have you noticed the increase in the number [...]
Stooks is the father of my baby!
UPDATE!!! Almost forgot to put a . She’s also the quote of the day at the bottom of this post. Which are You decide. And a stoner . But the biggest item of the day is a series of emails I’ve received. This is one of the many perks of being in radio. Subject: [...]
"Toilet Paper" not "Trashcan Paper," silly
Ever see something horrifying in someone’s trashcan? How about soiled toilet paper? “I pilot the aircraft with my mind…then I die of cancer or something.” Here’s a frightening bit Chris Casey put together, called Baby Cruise-Holmes was born yesterday. We caught the action as Katie Holmes Why must I insist on eating corn [...]
Cruise feasts on…
In an unbelievable Stooks Scoop, If only Spielberg could harvest children… With Cheney coming to town, . And we scored an ! An old man .If you’ve still got your Bush-Cheney bumper sticker, shame on you. But at least you don’t have the “Bitch Inside” bumper sticker. . Today’s Daily Quote of the Day for [...]
Rise, Lord Cheney
Dick Cheney is coming to Fort Riley tomorrow. To celebrate, here’s another edition of The High Lady called after the show ended. She gave us some . “If my daugther weren’t lesbian, this would be her size of preference.” Today’s Daily Quote of the Day for Today “Ahh, man. I wanted to be a hermaphrodite. [...]
To Wong Foo, Happy Easter, Kevin Eubanks
We had our special Easter edition of the show today. Adam, the singing telegrammer, . Dick Cheney . Barry Bonds ! And here’s an . Sweedish schoolboy Hansel . “I good at fake laughing at Leno and lifting weighted plates.” Today’s Daily Quote of the Day for Today: “Because he had lice on the sides?” [...]
How would Jesus hunt?
Worried about the mumps this Easter Season? The Stoner . It’s supposed to be hot Easter Sunday, the mumps are going around, and the kids are already too violent over the whole Easter Egg ordeal. Luckily, “Now I can get chicks for sure!” Here’s a new game! From the makers of “Which is the real [...]
Don’t search for "leper" in Google
My co-host, Chris Casey, can’t turn away telemarketers. This resulted in him paying $20 for a concert that he won’t attend to benefit the Kansas Highway Patrol. Luckily, one of our Fox 4 “Problem Solvers” viewers alerted us that this was a scam. These three women have one problem: John Holt’s intense libido. Believe it [...]
Gumshoe
I went to Wal-Mart yesterday, got out of my car, stepped in gum, shopped, and stepped in the same gum. Ridiculous. So we started . In this segment, Here’s a lady who drops the line . Here, a guy is That’s it for “pedestrian chat” for today. Here’s an offensive segment involving a [...]
Wedgie!
I got stuck behind a Wedgie Picker while running in City Park (home of Johnny Kaw) yesterday. Classic calls ensued for this conversation. First, we . Then, we . Finally, a caller We also . “You’re off the force Sipowicz! Now, where’d you hide that Mark-Paul Gosselaar?”
Female Viagra
AKA “Peter Gallagher and old men.” Here is an . Here is . Our movie skeptic called in to complain about Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead again. Finally, The O.C. has been sucking to the extreme in the last couple of years. I opted for American Inventor over The O.C. last night. So, we [...]
A logistical nightmare
Pretty good show today. I didn’t have to vomit afterward like I normally do. This guy thinks Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead is a logistical nightmare. We were talking about how much a ripoff those joke text message services are. 99 cents a joke. . “Argh! I got Elizabeth Berkley’s career in my eye!” [...]
Hot and spicy and explosive
If you’ve ever ordered at a Mexican restaurant in Spanish, you need to Many toucans were harmed in the making of this poncho. We also played a little game called And the old, German woman
Back to sucking
I had a good time over our break in Denver, including a tour of the Coors facility. Our tour guide has been giving the same tour 5-6 times a day for 12 years. This got us talking about incredibly boring jobs, ending in a The least qualified people always seem to get the telemarketing [...]
