Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Upheaval may feel unsettling, but it also supplies many opportunities that may not come again. Not everyone has as many opportunities to hurl on their supervisor as you do. Gemini (May 21 – June 21) Don’t be too quick to dismiss what’s just happened in your life. After all,…
GLAAD isn’t happy that Grey’s Anatomy’s Isaiah Washington used the word “faggot” again to say that he didn’t say “faggot” in the first place. Meanwhile, his castmates say he did say “faggot.” Both times. Paris Hilton’s current BFF, Kim Kardashian, doesn’t deny the existence of a sex tape depicting her and Brandy’s brother doing some…
We’re in the midst of a couple days off. We’ll be back Thursday.
Free for All Friday Bad joke guy calls in again (1:44) Jeri Anne pushes for new marijuana laws (2:02) Jeri Anne’s distracting, flowery chest (0:57) Hooter’s spinoff? (0:43) Didn’t your mom tell you not to run with your fingers pointed up? (0:47) Jeri Anne’s huffing problem (2:06) “Freeze for All Friday” (1:44)
Leo You’re intensely fascinating, and the world around you is waking up to that fact. Few signs are as well equipped to deal with adulation as you are. “Yield” has you beat. Sagittarius Pursue your goals with fierce determination. Distractions have no place in your life at this moment; all you can think about is…
Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz have finally confirmed their breakup. Good sign: Britney’s manager is carrying the kid. “…and then this little chihuahua fell out of my vagina.” Madonna is on Rosie’s side in the Trump feud. So I guess that’s a point for Trump. Trump says Star Jones called to congratulate him on his…
One of our listeners was troubled by President Bush’s speech last night (4:24). Financial aid checks went out yesterday at K-State, leading us to talk about what people on financial aid waste their money on. Segment 1 – $100k into a truck (1:21) Segment 2 – Clothing (0:51) I explained the concept of an “airplane”…
Aquarius Style-wise, you’ve got it going on. Whether it’s words, clothes, food or organization, somehow you manage to put everything together in a way that totally works and is totally you. You’re a trendsetter…for carpet baggers. Cancer Old resentments can go deep, and with good reason — this person really delivered quite a blow. Forgive…
Donald Trump might want to consider shutting up. Rosie and Barbara humiliated him on the latest “View.” All he could come back with was calling Barbara a “sad figurehead dominated by a third-rate comedian.” Trump and Conan had a little awkward exchange of their own Tuesday night. Paula Abdul says Simon Cowell saved her ass…
K-State’s back to school tomorrow, and somehow it got us talking about creepy teachers. Segment 1 – Miss Booty/Jeri Anne’s les gym teacher (5:47) Segment 2 – Why the Home Ec teacher shouldn’t teach Sex Ed (4:10) Segment 3 – Mr. D’s kiddie porn (3:33) Segment 4 – How to wear a thong (3:40)
Capricorn Thanks to your leadership, old issues are illuminated and people are motivated to take positive action. Your abilities bring attention to a neglected area that’s been swept under the rug for too long: cleaning behind your ears. Gemini Finding the sweet spot between focus and energy is an art, and you can do it!…
Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are Mr. Blackwell’s worst dressed celebrities. I didn’t know two women could make the list. Or does he count Britney’s vagina as its own species? “Is that your crotch-rot smell or mine?” Britney hung out with a sailor this weekend. And now it looks like sake was to blame for…
Dating your brother? (2:12) Subway Jerod gets fatter (4:21) She’s magic! (1:19) Girls asking guys out 1, featuring a Stooks flashback McDonald’s story (6:50) Girls asking guys out 2 – The Job Interview (5:12) Girls asking guys out 3 (1:21) Pushing a nameless coworker down a hill (1:27) How Jeri Anne came to being the…
Leo True friendships are a gift, and right now your social life is simply an embarrassment of riches. Make sure you honor them in the ways they deserve: the sombrero birthday treatment at El Tapatio. Just make sure you have some Licex on standby. Sagittarius A little indulgence is just the affirmation you need. It…
Britney Spears got paid $400 thousand for her little pass-out fest New Year’s Eve. It’s quite possible Paris Hilton has never pumped a gallon of gas in her life. Before sending some photographer off to get her some gas, she said “how much is gas?” Tourists regular gather outside Paris’ house. Or they think it’s…
Can you date your friend’s brother or sister? Segment 1 (5:10) Segment 2 (2:29) We also talked about “Armed and Famous,” the Fox reality show that trains has-beens to be cops. This led to a discussion on how weak Jeri Anne’s training was for Corrections Officer. She didn’t get zapped, maced, or anything fun. Segment…
Aquarius A telephone isn’t just another way to have a conversation when you’re doing the talking. It can also be an amazing instrument for change. It can strangle, bash skulls and make music at the same time! Cancer Go and get a little frisky. Some regularly scheduled mayhem will help you remember that it’s good…
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have a temporary custody agreement through the end of January. He can spend time with the kids from noon-4 p.m. every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at Britney’s house. Federline translation: liquor cabinet! Cartoons! Britney is still partying it up. Her vaginometer must be on high alert, though. Still no photos.…
Jeri Anne had her first ever energy drink today (2:55). “Falling up the stairs”/Awful joke (4:41) “The High Lady on C-Span” (3:59) “Leaching off your friends’ success” (5:30) “Buying your own engagment ring”/”Taking advantage of old people” (5:30)
Capricorn Saying something naughty can have such a nice effect. What’s the harm in a little mischievous flirtation? The object of your attention will be visibly flattered, you’ll feel an extra pep in your step, and your boss will have to rent a steam cleaner for the carpet in his office. Gemini Coming up with…
Donald Trump went off on Meredith Vieira on the Today Show for asking him about the Rosie feud. Yeah, can’t she tell he doesn’t like talking about that? Just Wednesday night, he told Showbiz Tonight that Barbara was lying through her teeth when she read her little prepared “we love Rosie” speech on The View.…
First off, we felt the need to address all the sick people you see working in the service industry. We wondered why they weren’t calling in sick. Segment 1 (3:00) Segment 2 (3:17) When you’re friends throw up, it’s best they do it while surrounded by detergent. My sister-in-law called last night to ask if…
Leo Someone enters your life who might be part of it forever. A new friend, lover or mentor — the stars say that it could be any one of those three. Or Hugh Downs. Sagittarius An upbeat energy fills your life, and just in time too. You’re game for just about anything: hot-air balloon rides,…
The tabloids say Britney’s record label is thinking about dropping her. I guess her vagina disappointed them, too. Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz didn’t spend Christmas together, leading tabloids to claim “it’s over!” I think Britney’s available. SpyOnVegas.com caught Paris Hilton taking an ice cube to the face. I guess that’s better than the alternative.…
Yesterday, we briefly touched on creating some kind of evaluation to use on a first date to figure out whether you’re talking to a psycho. Today, we figured out some of it. Segment 1 – Cutting up puppies (5:42) Segment 2 – References (4:05) Segment 3 – The Man Show? (2:56) Segment 4 – From…
Aquarius Some life-long beliefs may come under fire. Others may not understand why you hold onto some ideals as fiercely as you do. You don’t have to explain yourself, but you may have to deal with criticism. After all, mercy killings of every squirrel you see can be a bit much at times. Cancer You…
Jessica Simpson’s dad is annoyed at her for turning down a New Year’s Eve hosting gig at a club in Vegas so she could hang out with John Mayer. Britney Spears ended up hosting the event, where she had her little pass out/spontaneous sleep. At least Joe Simpson doesn’t touch her. Nick Lachey and Vanessa…
We spent the morning talking about New Year’s, and some of the disasters we observed. Girlfriend goes home in the back of a cop car/Guy passes out at a random house (4:54). Jeri Anne told us about an ex who gave her an interesting call on New Year’s (2:31). One of our listeners weighed in…
Capricorn Tough emotional times can definitely be draining, but cheer up, because this has only made you stronger. Loved ones lend their support to you wholeheartedly. Now you know that you can handle just about anything, even both Kathy’s Griffin and Lee Gifford. Gemini Everyone’s feelings are a touch more sensitive than usual right now,…
Britney Spears people say she fell asleep at 1 a.m. New Year’s because she was tired, not that she collapsed because she was too drunk. I’ll have to see some photos to be sure. Vagina = sober. When not passing out, Britney has been pretty good about being slutty. She made out with Arizona Cardinals…