Last weekend was the Fake Patrick’s Day in Manhattan, but most of the rest of America celebrates today. The German Woman was up early, throwing a few back. We also got into an argument over how pointless leprechauns are. Then, a gentleman called in and sang us a very creative St. Pat’s song. Finally, a…
The giant statue below, known as Johnny Kaw, called the show today. “My mommy says you shouldn’t touch me there.” We also had a new edition of “Which are the real Blanche and Dorothy.” And a discussion on things we’d like to light afire in protest.
I have an American Idol Beach Ball. I love my American Idol Beach Ball ever so much. I have fun throwing my American Idol Beach Ball at my co-host, Chris Casey. But, then, disaster! My American Idol Beach Ball can no longer hold air. And I = Sad. And Chris = Sad, too. He has…
This morning, we got proof that ghosts exist! James Lipton says: whoop!
While watching American Idol, I realized Taylor Hicks is Oscar the Grouch come to life and a little happier. Okay, maybe he looks like Sam the Eagle, instead.
Only one clip today, but it’s the biggest, juiciest, most offensive clip our show has yet to produce. Enjoy. You’ll understand when you hear the clip. Doesn’t sound so tasty anymore, does it?
Manhattan had St. Patrick’s Day this weekend. Yes, that’s earlier than normal people celebrate it. But it gives us an opportunity to celebrate it again this Friday. The German woman enjoyed the parade. I also got the opportunity to talk to some drunk people on St. Pat’s. I know. I’m brilliant for being able to…
Shocking news out of the Big 12 Tournament: there are two “D’s” in Wooldridge. He also got fired. And with the announcment, Coach Wooldridge turned in his badge and neck brace. Amazingly, we scored an interview with a potential candidate for the vacant position.
Today, we had a gentleman sing us his favorite ringtone. He would’ve played it for us, but he happened to calling us on the cell phone with the ringtone. “Text messaging hides my social awkwardness.” We also had a 13-year-old girl tell us her friend of the same age got a ticket for driving. The…
I went without shaving this weekend. Then, I overslept Monday morning, which meant I had quite the nappy facial hair working. Unfortunately, my co-workers have been convincing me to try it out for awhile. “Do I have food in my stash?” So, I’m now paranoid that they’re convincing me to keep the thing because they…
First off, this is the first picture that pops up on Google Image Search when you search for Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter himself. Courtesy Manhattan Parks Department In celebration of today’s release of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, we cast spells on each other this morning. Then, we had Ask Louie: Spring Break…
Haha. Woolridge was in classic form this weekend for the KU game. He was all blinged out in his neck brace. This morning, we were talking about how he struggled to bend over to inspect an injured player. The neck brace prevented his head from pivoting, so he had to manipulate his entire torso to…
Here’s a quick bit with Hansel, who has big plans for the K-State-KU game. It’s under 30 seconds, so if you think it sucks, at least you didn’t waste too much time. The French-kissing bumper guy returned today, but he made a shopping cart his victim. Multiple captions:The Ogden Community Center Employee of the MonthWal-Mart:…
We were talking about last night’s American Idol, when the High Lady called with her thoughts and a song of her own. “I’m old?” We also talked about how ridiculous K-State coach Jim Woolridge looks with a neck brace, especially since I thought the only people who wore neck braces were the ones who filed…
For the first time in more than a month, Wolfy called the show to give his thoughts on American Idol. “My, Grandma, what big cans you have.”
My talented co-host, Chris Casey, is quite the artist. Check out his “Moustache Ride” cartoon. It gets three stashes on the Stossel Scale. “I lost Luigi in World 3-2.”
What better way to celebrate Fat Tuesday than with Louie Anderson! “And I pray that chicken fingers may fall from the sky and into my mouth.” Lots of clips today. We had our first ever “Ask Louie” segment today. Louie’s got great advice on how to get beads on Mardi Gras. One caller wanted to…
We played a fun game today, called “Which is the real Blanche?” It infuriated our old, possibly German lady. “I never believed in summer sausage. I like it all four seasons.” Changing themes, I went to Wal-Mart yesterday. I didn’t really do anything Saturday night, so I was in Wal-Mart at 8:30 Sunday morning. I…
As promised, here’s the picture of Lisa Marie Presley and her new beau. He’s quite the dandy. “With our loins combined, we can create a race to take over the world! Or, at the very least, frighten it.”
The Manhattan Mercury impressed me with the cleverness of the above headline. But they couldn’t fit as many m’s in there as I could, so there! Here’s our discussion from this morning.It’s Girl Scout Cookie Season, but before you go hunting Girl Scouts and stealing their cookies, check out girlscouts.net to find out where you…
This morning, we were talking about a guy from the Manhattan parks department who got arrested for having child porn on his computer. Then, we got off on a rant about the amazingly idiotic things people do on the computer at work. The High Lady called in and then handed the phone off to a…
Happy Presidents’ Day! Make sure you go hug someone who’s met a President. I think that’s what you’re supposed to do. Here’s a little ditty I wrote, “Presidents’ Day is lonely for me.” “For my next trick, I’ll die when someone throws a towel on the floor.”
We had some freezing rain in the area this morning. Have you ever heard the “you grew up in this area, so you should know how to drive in this weather” argument? Not the one where you should slow down, but the one where you should go the full speed limit because physics don’t apparently…
First off, I’m disappointed in Google. They don’t have a Valentine’s graphic on the homepage today. I could understand if the Olympics happened only every four years and only for one day that happened to be on Valentine’s, but that isn’t the case. You can take one day off from the Olympics graphic to put…
Extra special treats today. First, we had a discussion about the “Love Assist,” where someone you are with hits on someone on your behalf. Then, the High Lady calls in at the end of the segment and throws a huge wrench into the whole thing. “Puff, puff, pass, Snoop.” Then, my favorite and dirtiest segment…
A new character debuted on the show today: the guy who likes Barbie a little too much. Ken was too busy listening to Clay Aiken records to come to Barbie’s rescue.
I saw a Chevy Impala that had spinning rims. “But Michael, spinning rims will cripple my ability to TurboBoost.” -Kitt Just to emphasize how lame that is, my mom drives the exact same car. This morning, we decided spinning rims: 1. Only work on trashy cars 2. Should have a version that looks like a…
Interesting question posed by a Stooks in the Morning caller this morning. “Does Ariel have normal female plumbing?” And why wasn’t that point argued in her song about being a normal woman? “If you were a real woman, I’d show you the trick I can do with my claws.”
Five types of people at the Superbowl party: 1. Normal fan2. There-for-the-dip guy3. Woman along for the ride4. Way too intense guy5. Guy who doesn’t like football but feels the need to talk constantly You can’t have a way-too-intense guy and the talking guy at the same party. Intense guy will scream at talking guy…
Have you heard about the Kama Sutra virus? Well, I got confused after I Googled “kama sutra” to find out about this nasty little bugger, and stumbled upon the “Kama Sutra Animated.” I was shocked to see that this was some kind of obscene website! Hint! You can set the poses as the desktop on…