Okay, listen up Internet. If I have to postpone another “Castro is Dead!” celebration party, you don’t get a chance to hit the piñata.
Okay, listen up Internet. If I have to postpone another “Castro is Dead!” celebration party, you don’t get a chance to hit the piñata.
“The timing to bring the franchise back is perfect, and NBC is the ideal home.” – Gladiators producer douche. Look for it, minus Nitro, midseason. Maybe they could get him as an analyst. You can catch reruns on ESPN Classic. Here’s Nitro talking about the event the Gladiators hated the most. One hint: it’s not…
Look at me. What a piece of filth. “Gross, it’s a Gorby stain!” “Yes, God gave me this, and he made me bald. WTF?” Now, you might ask, “Why don’t you throw away your filthy, pit-stainy shirts, Stooks?” They’re undershirts, that’s why. It’s their job to sit there, under my shirt, protecting it from pit…
USA Today’s got me on a roll. Maybe I should just start an anti-USA Today blog. But, then I’d have to read more USA Today. “Yet another music format is merging onto the infotainment superhighway, and it may help force the CD player down a one-way street to the eight-track landfill.” What is this absolute…
I know, I shouldn’t be reading USA Today. A grade schooler would’ve been proud had they written the front-page story in today’s Money section: “People buy small cars even though they can be deadly.” The gist of the story: madmen everywhere are buying more small cars, despite their horrifying safety levels, just to save a…
I saw a guy at Target who had a beard and a fanny pack, a combination never witnessed before. Here’s where a bearded fanny pack falls in the echelon of likeliness to wear a fanny pack: 1. Overweight woman at a theme park2. Thin man with several kids at a theme park…167. Guy with a…
“My new TV show starts Monday on Court TV. Be sure to tune in for the horror.”
What happens when six perpetually flaccid, yet musically inclined, buddies all discover Viagra at the same time? Take a look.
Why do I always think “Judge Dredd” before I realize I mean to be thinking “Demolition Man”? Even though Demolition Man showed how easy it was to defeat a retinal scan 14 years ago, companies keep developing the technology. Snipes was even frozen before the technology was around, and quickly figured out how to defeat…
If you haven’t heard yet, you’re not supposed to go to work, shop or go to school on September 11th, so that the government can know how uncool everyone thinks everything is right now. Plus, that means no one will buy gas, and we’ll all be able to get it for 99 cents a gallon…
My grandpa is going to spend the next couple of weeks in assisted living. He’s used to the guide feature on his dish, so he needed the help only a TV Guide could offer. On the way to visit him yesterday, I went hunting for the surprisingly elusive Guide. The story ends in horror. First,…
I had a great time with my dad and brothers at Tuesday night’s Royals game. The Royals ended up winning, and we had a great view. Wait a minute. Zoom in. Is that Family Ties’ Michael Gross serving Bud Light? In fact, this Michael Gross-a-like has been serving beer at Kauffman Stadium for as long…
I’m not a big fan of commercials that take an obvious Carl Weathers and place him in a role such as “Alex Keeth, President of Old Spice Marketing.” If you can’t take Carl Weathers and put him into a commercial as either Carl Weathers or Apollo Creed, you have a problem. In fact, if the…
While perusing Careerbuilder today, I stumbled upon this interesting position. Ten bucks an hour? Do you realize how many hours of nakedness you’d have to pull off to make a living? Poor nudists. Always taken advantage of.
I’ve had my Sprint PCS Mogul Pocket PC for the past month, and I love the hell out of it. It downloads faster than any phone I’ve seen, and I haven’t dropped any calls. Sadly, Sprint hasn’t taken its “Sprint Speed” concept to the customer login section of its website yet. As I’m typing this,…
The Delorean might make a comeback. Now Christopher Lloyd can pimp something other than DirecTV. Every one of those DirecTV commercials depresses me in a profound way.
Click the ad for full size.
A blog post from Tangerine Toad mentioned the old “Abort, Retry, Ignore, Fail?” DOS failure message, and reminded me of this classic computer problem. From Wikipedia: The message would prompt the user to hit “A” to abort the operation, “R” to try reading the data again, or “F” to attempt to proceed without the necessary…
My friend Jon laid down a serious jam session with a street corner guitarist Saturday night in Westport.
I just found out I’m competing against Andre Agassi in my job search.
Click for a larger image.
I’m going to be using this space to publish my portfolio. Feel free to share your thoughts. “You shouldn’t have quit your job” doesn’t count as constructive criticism.
(22:10) I taped today’s cast from the screened-in porch, and then got a fun call from Shua on the Skype line. Topics include: weekend in Lawrence, drunks bumming smokes, texting like a douche, drinking, living with your parents, and more!
I spent a fun night in Lawrence Saturday. The hangover food at Mirth Internet Cafe was a nice finish to the weekend. I didn’t see anyone using the Internet, but the cafe part was quite enjoyable. After one visit, it’s right up there with Milton’s as one of my favorite all-time breakfast joints in Lawrence.…
(3:55 podcast) My friend Danny called the Skype line today, and we quickly got into a discussion on librarians being dirty.
(7:16 podcast) I’m all about cellphones in this podcast. After five years, I have a new phone. It’s a beauty: the Sprint Mogul. I’m using Orb to stream audio from my home network to the Mogul. Pretty flawless so far. Orb lets you stream any media from your home to any computer. So, instead of…
I’m very disappointed in USA Today for a misleading tease in today’s paper. They were plugging an online poll related to the “Michael Vick indicted for dog fights/murders” story. The story talks about killing under-performing dogs through hanging and electrocution. “Vote for what you think should happen to Vick” has so many creative possibilities as…
The hotter it gets, the more likely you are to see some poor person as a walking ad for Little Caesar’s. This dude was standing at the corner of Santa Fe and Mur-Len in Olathe at 4:00/92 degrees today. At least he’s got some shade and a stalking cap. Yeah, I’m not really sure about…
Everyone’s been loving on Apple so much for the iPhone that I’m starting to feel bad for poor old, lonely Microsoft. I’ve been showing this video off to friends for the last couple of months anyway, so it deserves a little blog love. It’s a program called Photosynth. If you haven’t seen it, get ready…