AquariusHow do you always end up in the middle of a drama when you haven’t auditioned for the role? No, Mangino, not that type of “roll” (screams). CancerYour ego gets a much-needed boost when you perform well at something you love. Too bad shooting pens out of your belly button isn’t a paying gig. ScorpioYou…
I just read Robin Williams is going into rehab. Here’s what I think about Robin Williams: he’s pretty talented, but also happens to be one of the most annoying people on Earth. When he gets sober, he’ll…happen to be one of the most annoying people on Earth. Any guesses on which race or religion he…
She’s out of my league Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs She’s like the wind -Patrick Swayze We talked about this Men’s Health article on dating out of your league. The main point we debated: approaching a hot woman because, chances are, her hotness scares away other dudes. Segment 1 –…
CapricornAn on-the-job big shot may not be quite the authority figure you were hoping for. Don’t stamp your feet and air your grievances. Plot your revenge behind closed doors. Before you know it, your boss will be picking maggots and whipped cream out of their hair. GeminiA fancy social event makes you somewhat uncomfortable. Be…
We talked about how E-Mail is inappropriate for some things. I got a pair of interesting emails…six months apart. Segment 1 – E-Mail Breakup Segment 2 – I never get good E-Mail Segment 3 – On exhaust fumes (Breuer-vision) “With Breur-vision, we always hit five stashes.” In other show activity… The Old Woman called about…
Leo With great poetry, one line can mean one thing when viewed in a certain light, and something entirely different when it’s read again. Think of your life as an epic poem in progress, with various possible interpretations, although most of them relate to sorting through various refuse. Sagittarius You stand apart from the pack…
My friend Kevin posted a blog on his MySpace about a coworker who tries to suck everyone into his spousal problems. We talked about coworkers who take too many liberties with their work “friends” when talking about their personal issues. Segment 1Segment 2 In other show activity… A guy called in to complain about the…
Aquarius Gritting your teeth isn’t necessary. Someone really is in charge here. You’ll just have to deal with the fact that it’s not you (even though you’d do a bang-up job). Be patient. Your turn will get here very soon, and you’ll be able to put the quarter in the K-Mart pony on your very…
Free for All Friday was full of people seeking my advice on relationships. Mistake. But we gave it a shot. Segment 1- Ugly babies and The E-Mail CheaterSegment 2 – The 16-year-old man stealerSegment 3 – Hawaiin Shaved Ice “Dr. Phil: Sexual predator” coming to Lifetime in 2011 In other show activity… A caller who’s…
Capricorn Relationships with others are highlighted and can be easier now. You’re on display and drawing plenty of admirers. Not everyone has a mole on their lower back that resembles Dennis Leary. Gemini Sacred spaces are necessary for individuals — and for all of humanity. See what you can do about resuscitating a neglected area…
Even thought tonight’s episode wasn’t that good, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is easily the best comedy on TV. It’s on FX, Thursday nights at 9. I just noticed that when they flash the production company logo up at the end of the show, there’s some weird audio playing. Listen here. It sounded like reversed…
I haven’t even come close to putting my new apartment in order. I’m trying to throw a bunch of stuff out that I never use. But with such disarray around the house, I’ve been forced to go commando for the second straight day. We discussed the various positives and negatives of this practice. Segment 1…
Leo A combination of intuition, imagination and knowledge lead to wisdom. You know more than you think. You just need to tap into all your resources, not just the ones you want to publicly acknowledge. Yes, it’s time to reveal that you were a 1996 World Series of Hopscotch finalist. Sagittarius It’s important to trust…
Didn’t realize my beard would cause such a ruckus. Click the picture for a bigger view.
I shaved the beard last night. My A/C’s been struggling to keep up with the heat, and I needed as much relief as I could get my hands on. Plus, I needed a reason to stay in the cold shower a little longer. For some reason, I remembered my sister-in-law’s parents had a friend who…
Aquarius You’re an excellent puzzle solver, but for this one, you may need to call in some outside help. When it comes to emotional matters, the best medicine you could hope for is an empathetic friend…or your pathetic friend Petey, the guy who bathes in the bathroom at work. You’ll feel better just knowing that’s…
Congratulations to Mel Gibson on having the most un-mug-shot looking mug shot of all time. InTouch Weekly got their hands on some photos of Mel partying earlier in the night. “Gibson to God…Can I hate on the Jews a little later? This girl’s totally into me.”
I moved across the hall last night, and it spells like urine in there. The air conditioner hasn’t been on in forever so it’s 1000 degrees in there. Not the best night of sleep I’ve ever had. To make me, and everyone else who moves into a place in need of a little work, we…
Capricorn Voice your real needs and they’ll be met in one way or another. Be honest and forthright about what you’ve kept concealed for far too long. Yup, just like a Ken Doll. Gemini Your intuition is the most powerful tool at your disposal, but you need to use it to keep it sharp. Meditation,…
So, here I am. Waiting to hear from my landlord on whether I can start moving stuff across the hall (long story if you haven’t heard it). So, what do I do? Go to MY OWN MySpace Page, to listen to clips of MY OWN show (ego problem?) while playing Tetris. Check out my score:…
I helped Chris move last night into his new digs. He’s thinking about getting a kitten, but I warned him, “your three dude roommates aren’t going to like a kitten.” I don’t mind kittens, in fact, I even enjoy their company from time-to-time. But for some reason, most guys have some weird hatred toward cats.…
Leo Who elected you peacemaker? Actually, all the astrological energies are in agreement on this one. You’ve got the right stuff when it comes to settling disputes, negotiating contracts and slashing the tires of the clerk who wouldn’t spot you two pennies at the gas station. Sagittarius Use the element of surprise on your problems.…
…when everyone thinks about Saved by the Bell, they think about the caffeine pills episode, and it’s really played out. But I’m watching the True Hollywood Story on Saved by the Bell, when I should be cleaning up my craphole of an apartment so I can move (brilliantly) across the hall Tuesday.Anyhow, here’s the clip…
Mel Gibson busted for DUI! And it’s his second! Wow. Here’s what Mel’s mug shot will look like if he goes to Nolte’s stylist:
Another Free for All Friday today with all kinds of fun stuff. A guy who likes go-carts. A woman who hates man-stealing women, followed by a woman who may be trying to steal her man. A woman who has a man for the man-stealer to take, followed by a guy who needs a bathroom break…
Aquarius Keep your chin up. Life-changing rewards are often the result of difficult effort. You may feel near the end of your rope, but keep the faith — you’ve got much more room on the line than you would have believed…almost enough to make a lasso and hogtie your mother-in-law. Cancer You know an exception…
Get it? Like “Seacrest out.” I think Seacrest made the connection, because he doesn’t drop that line anymore. We talked about Lance Bass coming out of the closet. Then, we tried to figure out why we care. Segment 1 Segment 2 “Did I really need to come out and say it?” In other show activity……
Capricorn Yours is a complex sign, and you can’t be expected to process things the way that other, simpler signs do. Give yourself a little space to move. Here’s a start: stay away from Guillermo in the elevator for both space and stench relief. Gemini Make sure you don’t neglect your health or your loved…
Lance Bass is now officially gay (Thanks to Kevin for the heads up). Check out this quote: “Bass…tells People magazine that he didn’t earlier disclose his sexuality because he didn’t want to affect the group’s popularity. Yeah, right. He just liked Timberlake getting picked on for being most gay. “What’re you hiding back there, Lance?”
Manhattan has closed Northview Pool because you get a static shock when you get into the pool. The parks superintendent said “What was rediscovered was one or two volts of intermittent static electricity that is similar to if you were to rub your feet across the carpet and touch somebody.” It made us ask the…