Ever since he wept at the end of American Idol, Hasselhoff has been pressuring me into buying a video capture card for my computer so I can have his array of ridiculous facial expressions to share along with his ridiculous speaking on America’s Got Talent. Not to mention the new brace he’s wearing around his…
Men are wearing women’s jeans. Apparently, it’s the new “punk-rock thing.” They like them tight around the legs, and it keeps the jeans from getting tangled in a bike chain or a skateboard…since apparently this is a major problem. Maybe if a thrasher wore the right size men’s jeans to begin with, we wouldn’t have…
So, Photoshop Adam calls me last night. “Dude, did you go into Little Apple Bush (Little Apple Market is the correct name) earlier?” “Yes,” I said. “You need new wheels.” So PSA starts hating on my ride. But I don’t care. All I want in a car is to get me from Point A to…
Capricorn Doing something right doesn’t just feel good — it feels great. This inspires you to look for more good deeds to perform, and to get others on the same generosity track. Then, one day, maybe we can live in a world without people tying up the check-out line trying to decide between Orange or…
Two clips from Sesame Street.A weird flashpack piece about a band. The guy in the band who keeps talking about some girl sounds like a mix between Tommy Chong and Tony Danza (“Tonny Chongza” as I call him). Elmo singing the “Wuba wuba wuba woo woo woo (or something similar) Song.” Finally, a classic clip…
The High Lady went on an extended rant today. Curious about chocolate milk? Here’s “Chocolate Milk Chat with Chip Rimaldi. ” Today’s guest is Benji Homona. Lactose issues By the way, the above photo comes from this website. It’s just a series of photos with this woman and select beverages, and either “thumbs up” or…
Leo Now is a good time to follow someone else’s lead, especially when it comes to your career. A coworker with a strong instinct for business can clear a path and show you what to do — and what not to do. That coworker’s name? Obi Wan Kenobi…the Moroccan guy who cleans the toilets. Sagittarius…
Chris saw Pirates of the Caribbean last night. There was a baby in the theater. Amazingly, the baby didn’t cry. However, not everyone is so lucky. So we talked about the possibility of rules against babies. This segment has a guy with a brilliant idea: switches for babies. This one has a woman who won’t…
Aquarius You pursue this current goal full-throttle, determined to reach success. This tenacious attitude gets you what you want, and then some, whether it’s a promotion at work or a new and vivacious social life. Just don’t go around telling people “my social life is so vivacious these days!” That’ll probably paint an unpleasant picture.…
“We’re in touch…so you be in touch.”
Another “Free for All Friday” today, so get ready for some randomness. This guy is wasted and spreading the love. This guy thinks CNN sucks. Hear about Jennifer Aniston’s downgrade and whether cheerleading is a sport. Hear about old people driving, people not working and more arguments on Jennifer Aniston’s downgrade and cheerleading as a…
I have to type this thing out every day anyway, so I figured I’d start putting it online, too.Capricorn You’ve been frugal and practical long enough. The stars say it’s time to splurge. The stars also say “is it hot in here or is it just me?” Gemini Don’t worry about all the contracts, paperwork…
DeMone the Demon called in because of today being 07/06/06. And The Stoner has an interesting plan for tonight’s midnight showing of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. “Check out the camel toe on Gary!” Sorry, that’s all the fresh content you get today. But we do have some clips we found that we…
I was annoyed by a kid who had a laser pointer last night at Sundown Salute, Junction City’s ridiculously impressive 4th of July celebration. We explained how he needs to realize how lame laser pointers are these days (even more so than they ever have been, amazingly). To help him, and other clueless people, we…
It seems like a lot of people got the day off or are taking the day off for an extended weekend. At least one group is having a 4th of July Eve party. We shot off some fireworks in the studio to celebrate the holiday. One caller shared a story about a bad combination of…
We tried to help with our little “relationship rescue” today. Since a lot of people have a long weekend for the holiday, we thought we’d try to do some good by making your loved ones more tolerable. Our callers shared what the opposite sex does to annoy them. Segment 1Segment 2Segment 3 “I’ll eat your…
I finally got a Realtor yesterday. We looked at at least six houses, and almost every one of them had a distinct funk. We discussed whether a funk is reason enough to not buy a house. An old woman called to dispute my claims of an “old person funk.” Another woman said maybe I’m responsible…
Superman is out today, and we were talking about our superpowers. We heard about superpowers including talking your way out of a speeding ticket, throwing rocks, moving your eyebrows one at a time… And one man’s power to move traffic out of his way by treating it like an Asian woman. “His Ken Doll-like front…
Why aren’t people honest with each other on how ugly their haircuts look? A recent incident on MySpace forced me to address the issue on today’s show. This caller says it’s all in the tone of voice. This woman says you have to be honest. This one makes a shocking claim about perms and mullets.…
This morning, we talked about Photoshop Adam’s claim that you can go to Wal-Mart after 10, get a red ribbon from the elderly greeter, tie it onto your cart, and wait as the hot singles come rushing your way. His story was a little off, as one store in the U.S. has done something similar.…
Angelina Jolie has her eye on a pregnant woman in a village devastated by an earthquake. She’s pregnant with twins. And Angelina wants them. Yours are next… Thanks to Photoshop Adam for the pic.
Ever see a girl pee like this? “What am I standing in?” She is either very talented and you wouldn’t want to shake her hand or she has one of these: Still hungry for that Chili Cheese Coney? It’s called the P-Mate. Their site is hilarious, especially this line on when you can use it:…
Today’s the start of Country Stampede. But don’t let the “country” fool you. People who hate country still go to the show for the party, drinking and general whoring around. “I can feel it kicking!” To help the uninitiated, we shared Stampede stories this morning. Want to get pregnant? Go to the port-a-potty. One caller…
I have a family reunion coming up. When our parents told us about it, we asked if “Burn Victim” would be there. This prompted an on-air slew of horrifying nicknames. Segment 1Segment 2 It’s Halloween all year long! America’s Got Talent starts tonight on NBC. One of our listeners was upset we didn’t share the…
Last Friday, Photoshop Adam earned “No Stashes. Clean Shaven” on the “John Stossel Pick of the Week.” Why did he receive such a sorry rating? He sent out an email that took ten minutes to read and didn’t have any white space between sentences. Impossible to read. However, he redeemed himself. First off, check out…
I highly recommend this first bit. The Johnny Kaw Radio Show tackled the issue of “The Party Deuce.” Michael Moore: King of the Party Deuce An elderly woman called in about her neighbors’ Slip-N-Slide. I saw a hitchhiker standing in the middle of I-70 yesterday. Neither Chris or I have picked up a hitchhiker, but…
Not “can’t keep it up,” although that problem is surely approaching. We talked about my long struggle to stay awake Friday night on my way to KC, and shared some different ways to try to stay awake. Getting knocked up, snorting a (somewhat) legal substance and hair removal topped the list. Although, one caller took…
I’ve been up since 11 last night, so rather than put too much thought into the show, we turned it over to our listeners for a rare “Free for all Friday” edition of the show. It’s all pretty frightening. Segment 1 includes a guy with an interesting stat on vending machines. Segment 2 includes a…
Sorry, I’ve opted to avoid a three-peat Joey Greco photo appearance for the “Snoopers” segment on the website. He just doesn’t deserve to be up there with record-holders Bea Arthur and Louie Anderson just yet. We had a late meeting last night, and then I consumed a beverage or two which resulted in a rough…
Hope you have time for some heavy listening. No petting, though. That’s not allowed. MySpace annoys me. It is frequently out of order. During our “Viewer Mail” segment, I had about as much as I could take. . This morning, I may or may not have upset a co-worker with a play-on-words joke that he…