What could I have said to prompt the following email? Did I really imply a Hitler-esque elimination of an entire religious group? I’ll have the audio here tomorrow. In the meantime, do your own grammar check, and then we’ll share notes. Subject: d.j’s suckTo: mattstooks@mattstooks.com My brother and I listen to all you dumb ass…
Don’t go to the bathroom immediately after coming in from the cold. Things are a little harder to get a hold of, and when you finally do, the fingers feel especially chilly. People who back into their parking space at work are setting the stage to get out of there as fast as they can,…
The WWE, formerly known as the WWF, is going to start testing wrestlers for drugs and steroids after Eddie “Latino Heat” Guerrero died a few weeks ago. They didn’t find drugs in his system, but he used to dance with the white lady a couple years back.That may solve one problem. But looking at the…
I’ve sucked at updating the website lately. And the longer I go between posts, the more pressure I feel to come back with a good one to make up for it. I liken it to what Luke Perry must think when he looks over scripts for possible Lifetime original movie roles, looking for the one…
I’m full of it. Holiday cheer, that is. Okay, I’m full of something else, too. Our sister station, Q103.5, is going 24-hour Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving.I I got the privelege of putting the thing together, which involves staring at several computer screens for eight hours a day and sifting through 800 Christmas songs,…
Disclaimer: The above photo does not include Justin Carson or Matt Stooks. No way in the world either one of us want to be confused with the douche in red. 1 can cream of chicken soup, ½ Cup sour cream, ¾ Cup On The Border salsa, 2 Cups Colby or Jack cheese, shredded. Mix together…
The other day on Oprah, Kirstie Alley said “If you’re 45 and you’ve never been married, you’re a perv.” So we debated it on the show. This morning, the High Lady called in with some of her friends. She was quite clever and high. Check it out. ***UPDATE*** The High Lady and her friends called…
This guy’s pathetic. Is the hat in that picture supposed to imply that he is a fan of all of Major League Baseball instead of just one team? I’ve been meaning to add this for the last week, but here’s that clip of Kevin Federline rapping for his next CD. Supposedly, his producer leaked the…
A while back, we did a bit on people who you want to ask “are you high?” Then, like clockwork, we got a high caller. You can relive that moment at this post. Then, we started talking about my friend Chris (you can check out his hilarious site here) and how the dog he started…
Okay, so you have one friend over. You don’t bother to pick anything up around the house. If you’re good enough friends for them to come over solo, then you’re comfortable leaving your house the way you usually do: messy. Now, you have twenty friends over. You clean the place up a little. That’s this…
Justin, Intern Val, and myself had to, I mean, got to judge a kids Halloween costume contest last night.After denying 100 five-and-under-year-olds any recognition for their adorable attire, I realized that even I would have trouble dogging on Scott Savol during his horrifying stint on American Idol. Click here to see my thoughts on Scott…
ABC is developing America’s Next Muppet. It will be American Idol and America’s Next Top Model combined…but ten times better.I don’t really need to argue with anyone on why The Muppets need to come back to TV. But I do want to argue for my muppet idea: Kermit’s older, alcoholic, politically conscious half-brother, Steve (couldn’t…
Nothing keeps my femininity in check like reading a Cosmo. We were checking out their web page during the show, and stumbled on a tip that said men don’t like women who make the first move. Baloney. I forecast a zero possibility of a guy turning down a girl who makes the first move. Well,…
I’m watching Superman II over at my friend Kevin’s house. We’ve come to a shocking conclusion! Hector Elizondo must’ve traveled back in time to be play the role of General Zod!
Hopefully you get that headline joke. I was quite conflicted on whether to include the parentheses explanation. But I think I made the right decision. Tonight on The Apprentice, a bunch of dorky white guys got to sing/rap/amuse me for a lifetime with Wyclef Jean as their reward for winning the challenge. It sounded ten…
Has anyone else noticed the explosion in popularity of this term? Everyone’s saying it. I caught myself almost saying it once. “That how I … uh … function” is how it ended up coming out. I don’t want to be a bandwagon “that’s how I roll” abuser. But you have to have something to substitute…
I’m heading to K.C. in a couple hours. I was talking to my friend, Kevin, yesterday and told him Chris (theprewitt.com) and I were going to get together and hang out in the afternoon. “Well, the K-State game’s on, so I have to watch that. It starts at 11,” is a reasonable excuse from Kevin.…
That is the question.My studious co-host, Justin Carson claims Chad Kroeger, of Nickelback fame, perms his hair. It’s not a slam dunk, like Mike, Greg or Peter Brady, but do we have a match?
What happened? The Full House Formula should’ve been a timeless recipe, but something went horribly wrong. There aren’t any shows like it anymore. Where’s a 24-year-old to find a good family sitcom these days? Here’s Danny trying to cheer up Stephanie, who’s nervous about her first day of kindergarten. And here’s D.J. dropping the classic…
A classic blast-from-the-past phrase. And something that you wish you could go ask complete strangers when they are acting odd. How funny that we get a high woman calling into the show while we’re doing this topic today. Take a listen, but be forewarned: this could make you pee yourself. For more good times, check…
My friend Chris (feel free to check out his interesting website if you like) pointed out that the commercials for Valtrex made it look like people with herpes have far cooler lives than the rest of us: they’re hiking, riding horses through the river, getting/giving piggyback rides, chillin’ out in a hammock, flying a kite,…
I have more proof that Nicholas Cage is simply horrifying. His 21 year-old wife had a kid today. The name? Kal-el Coppola Cage. Coppola is Nick’s uncle, Francis Ford Coppola, from Godfather and Godfather Part II (I pretend he didn’t have anything to do with Part III). Kal-el? At first glance you might think Kal-el…
While watching Boogie Nights, I realized John C. Reilly is a poor man’s Will Ferrell. In fact, I’m wondering if anyone has ever seen both of them in the same room at the same time. Creepy, huh?
Does it come with the loser in the driver’s seat?
I got a Pizza Shuttle last night with pepperoni and cream cheese. It was delicious. But every time I microwave pizza, it’s a disaster. The crust is hot. The tip is hot. Everything in the middle is as cold as a corpse. Gross.
What a great show. I actually lowered myself to going to a fan message board and there were rumors that Walt was talking in reverse when he magically appears in the jungle. Here’s the encounter between Shannon and Walt in the jungle. Here is just what Walt says as it appeared on the show. Here’s…
Wow, I’m so intelligent. Do you know how long it took me to come up with the lame title for this post? I had to pay a three dollar convenience fee to get my license plate renewed yesterday. Yeah, convenience fee. They’re really making up for loads of lost cash from laying off people at…
Terrible. Simply awful. The ironic thing is that the Emmy honors excellence in television, yet The Emmy Awards is the worst thing on TV all year. But I always end up watching every minute. Enough with the Miniseries Emmy, already. Not only do they have the Emmy for the miniseries, but they have to honor…
If you make it through this, you deserve a slap in tbe face for wasting your time and justifying me wasting mine writing it. Tonight, I Tivo’d Survivor, and flipped between The O.C. and Primetime. I’ve only been able to figure out three things that might be happening on The O.C. 1. Julie Cooper is…
Somebody had a camera and caught Jessica Simpson wasted. And apprently she wasn’t wearing her wedding ring. But we know for sure she’s cheating. Look at the evidence below. She’s doing the synchronized tongue wag with a be-jeans-jacketed co-ed.