Cocky ass: Larry Birkhead shopped at Babies ‘R’ Us. Angelina Jolie is in Vietnam, presumably to pick up a kid. Jessica Simpson wants to adopt a kid. She’s copycatting Madonna copycatting Angelina. WTF?! Don King met with the Pope. I can’t wait for Pope-Tyson on Pay Per View this Fall. “I don’t tell anyone where…
Bad breath confrontation 1 (5:17) Bad breath confrontation 2 (3:04) Bad breath confrontation 3 (3:02) Idol’s Sanjaya gets funnier (4:07) Scoop – Why Rosie gets depressed (3:00) Tanning addiction (3:27)
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Some parties really want to get aggressive, but you don’t have to succumb to their combative tendencies. Give them one of your special brownies, their tone will change in no time. Gemini (May 21 – June 21) People from your past may rekindle old feelings. The million-dollar question is…
Add bipolar and bulimic to Britney’s problems. Howard K. Stern still hasn’t forked over his DNA. Donald Trump says Rosie O’Donnell gets depressed by looking the the mirror. Brad and Angelina plan to keep living in New Orleans for awhile. An American Idol accountant says former contestant Mario Vazquez sexually harassed him. Somehow, he couldn’t…
“Yeah, Swap Shop?” (1:36) The phrase “My girlfriends” (1:18) Law & Order: Anna Nicole Unit (3:09) Emotional cheating 1 (4:52) Emotional cheating 2 (3:17)
Leo (July 23 – August 22) Blazing a new trail isn’t easy, but the effort will be worth it. People will know you’re a force to be reckoned with once you’ve completed your Hasselhoffro. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Trying to figure out what’s really going on in someone else’s head is a fool’s…
Antonella Barba says those photos were for her own personal use, not for everyone else. I guess she needs a pictorial reminder of how to use the toilet. Law & Order: Criminal Intent will do its own version of the Anna Nicole Smith story this May. James Brown’s corpse will play the role of Anna…
Jeri Anne got a phone call from a snoozing friend this weekend. We asked our listeners what they’ve done in their sleep. Segment 1 (3:46) Segment 2 (2:41) Segment 3 (1:29) Segment 4 (2:29) Missing Bob Huggins…(4:07) Tom Cruise seeks Larry King (3:58)
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) Working with a certain coworker seems like it’s asking for trouble, but you know how making assumptions can cause trouble. The stars say if you restrict yourself to the task at hand, you might get more done than you’d hoped for, especially if the task is playing with Microsoft…
Idol’s Antonella Barba says she’ll stick around L.A. for awhile to see what kind of offers she can muster. She would like singing, acting or modeling…toilets. With Antonella and Sundance Head gone, Votefortheworst.com is encouraging viewers to keep voting for Sanjaya. Meanwhile, Simon says he’ll quit if Sanjaya wins. Maggie Gyllenhaal will take Katie Holmes’…
Antonella and her boobs leave American Idol (3:00) Idol’s Gay Pride connection (1:17) Scoop – Michael’s molesty hands (3:23) Free for All Friday 1 (6:53) Free for All Friday 2 (7:14) Free for All Friday 3 (5:39) Free for All Friday 4 (3:29) Free for All Friday 5 (3:55)
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Defending yourself is a waste of time and energy, especially when you’re not the source of the problem. Focus on the task at hand. It’s been your turn in Jenga for like five minutes now. Gemini (May 21 – June 21) Focus on bonding with your family. It’s time…
Kevin Federline is keeping up his regular visits to Britney in rehab. Let’s just hope he’s rolling tape again. Or is he? The Enquirer says he’s been pitching a reality show about a clueless dad trying to raise two sons. Before her first rehab, a clothing store’s employees say she had staff watch her kids…
Stooks Voicemail: “What’s hiv?” (1:39) Winning the blood pressure game (2:13) Time Travel 1 (2:19) Time Travel 2 (1:27) Time Travel 3 (1:10) Time Travel 4 (1:38) “Antonella Barba on the toilet” Idol! (4:58)
Leo (July 23 – August 22) Being a party animal takes a backseat to a more contemplative mood. With the stars in their most insightful mood, you can see what was clouded by a fog before: Louie Anderson’s backside. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) You don’t need to send out a detailed report about…
Justin Timberlake’s producer/songwriter Timbaland says he and Justin are ready to bring Britney back to some kind of musical form once she becomes somewhat reasonable. Maybe JT just needs her for “Rancid box in a box.” Britney didn’t take Kevin Federline’s Ferrari away after all. Or he just got it out of her garage during…
The Harry Potter Fan has some exciting news about poking horses’ eyes (2:21). Going bra-less with the wrong boobs 1 (4:06) Going bra-less with the wrong boobs 2 (2:49) Going bra-less with the wrong boobs 3 (3:05) Going bra-less with the wrong boobs 4 (4:27) Going bra-less with the wrong boobs 5 (5:42) Deodorants and…
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) There’s a lot to look forward to, especially with the stars’ benevolent rays beaming on your social calendar. Friday: try out that new melon baller! Cancer (June 22 – July 22) Your friends just love talking to you, and it’s no wonder. You’ve been popping Altoids. Scorpio (October 23…
Britney Spears will mark one week in rehab if she makes it to Thursday, but her family is thinking the full month might be too much to ask. A couple of days without attacking a car with an umbrella or turning into Satan might be enough. Simon Cowell has a pretty reasonable grip on the…
Steve Schnell’s “Better be careful who you make eyes for” Report (1:08) “Preview Review” – TMNT (4:36) Fire Engine in the way of Chipotle (3:16) The funniest thing you’ve seen in awhile 1 (2:41) The funniest thing you’ve seen in awhile 2 (4:28) The High Lady’s “Lucille?” (5:40) Jeri Anne’s pale skin needs a parcel…
Pardon my filthiness, but I saw this on Yahoo’s front page today and chuckled: Start the week off with roasted red snapper tonight. Britney Spears went on a $3 thousand online-rehab shopping spree. Pretty cheap if she had to have “666” or “My toddlers are the spawns of the anti-Christ” etched onto every item. If…
Thanks for everyone’s feedback on the website. As you see, I’ve merged the new format with the old “blog view.” We’ll keep tweaking what we have, so make sure you let me know what you want. The Iraqi Woman calls to congratulate President Bush on beating President Clinton (2:19). Guys seem to hate Oprah. We…
Leo (July 23 – August 22) A certain person you’re counting on may turn out to be flaky. Don’t worry, though — it’s just temporary. Tell them about Selsun Blue. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Wait until some of the extraneous noise dies down before you make a decision. What you hear could change…
Britney Spears is reading Brooke Shields’ book on post partum depression. If that doesn’t take, Brooke says she would meet with Britney. If that doesn’t take, maybe they’ll look at putting her down. Angelina Jolie filed adoption papers in Vietnam as a single parent. Anna Nicole’s grave has become the number one tourist site in…
High Lady: Wake up dead (5:17) Soil yourself, get out of a ticket (3:01) Abbreviation (4:18) Browned on by Brown (2:10) Lizzie? (4:18) Hetero male digs on man ass (3:16)
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) The stars commend you for staying grounded and patient. Is it any wonder that your outward circumstances now match your inner attitude? Unfortunately, the carpet still doesn’t match the curtains. Cancer (June 22 – July 22) Is the charm of this person or situation going to wear off in…
John Travolta says Scientology could’ve saved Anna Nicole. “We could have helped her with Narconon but didn’t get a chance.” I wish I made that up. Everyone got excited, thinking Britney Spears was wearing her wedding ring. After forensic examination of the picture, TMZ.com says the ring she’s wearing is not her wedding band. It…
Ageism/Naked Harry Potter on a pony (3:46) Jeri Anne’s snow adventure (1:54) “I hate my principal.” (1:54) “Kids need to ‘nut up’” (0:38) Random calls (6:00)
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) The first step to dealing with your current mood is to acknowledge that it’s there instead of ignoring it. Shake off that funk. Or, at least do us all a favor, and Febreeze it. Gemini (May 21 – June 21) You just love playing devil’s advocate, and you’re great…
Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck enter catfight territory. Rosie told Elisabeth “You’re very young and you’re very wrong” as they were fighting over the Patriot Act. Paris Hilton’s been arrested for violating her probation, driving with a suspended license. Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen have been playing tonsil hockey all over Italy. Looks like baby-daddy-mama-drama…