Capricorn Figure out if there’s a purpose to a debate before you get started. It’s tempting to get involved in a battle of the wits, but be careful: That repartee could quickly descend to the level of ‘Did not!,’ ‘Did too! Did not! Did too! (shotgun blast)’ Gemini It’s time to share what you know.…
Wow, they found the guy who probably killed JonBenet Ramsey. I guess we owe her parents an apology. Johnny Depp is doing another movie with Tim Burton. How come no one has questioned that relationship yet? Drew Barrymore wants to settle down and have a kid. Her boyfriend’s name is Fabrizio Moretti, formerly the (dead?)…
K-State’s Tyler Hughes was thrown off the basketball team for being a registered sex offender, or maybe for what he did to become one. Either way, we went to the Kansas registered sex offenders site yesterday. We were sucked in by the pure hilarity of the photos. I would put one of them up here,…
LeoYou have the imagination and insight to see fresh angles on lifelong friends. Why not share your knowledge with them? Rock beats scissors, scissors beat paper, paper beats rock, and corn doesn’t digest. SagittariusYour career success accelerates just as the situation in your personal life gets deep. This might cause you some stress, along with…
Instead of hastily putting together what I can find for the Stooks Scoop three minutes before it goes on the air, I’ve decided to work on it a day in advance and put what I find here. Don’t worry, any late-breaking stories about Rosie sitting on it will still make the show. Good lord, you…
At least one of my friends on MySpace is the “that guy” who flaunts how ripped he is by having shirtless photos all over the place. So, we discussed the “Dude who needs to be shirtless all the time.” Segment 1 – Topless with a PorscheSegment 2 – Underendowed and CockySegment 3 – Fat and…
Aquarius When your dad calls with another set of instructions about how to change an oil filter, the temptation to roll your eyes is irresistible. Listen attentively and you may just learn something about your family…specifically, about your family’s questionable past in the organized car parts theft crime syndicate. Cancer Learn to shake off any…
Did you hear? Mario Lopez and Jerry Springer are going to be on Dancing with the Stars. “Ouch, I shouldn’t have nailed that tranny…it burns.” No caption, just a quick note on Mario Lopez: I believe his Speedo says “Air Mail.” Any ideas what that might mean across someone’s groin? I only have one…and it’s…
If you haven’t heard, BOTH Elimidate AND Blind Date are going off the air. Roger Lodge, along with his assortment of V-necks and turtlenecks got me through my first couple years of college. Elimidate renewed my faith in the genre, before a quick rendezvous with Cheaters ended my relationship with dating shows completely. Goodbye Elimidate…
So, you can’t take liquids on a plane for a while. Are snakes okay? One of the biggest things I’ve heard on the news, and seen in the news footage, is the massive amount of lotion disposal. You can’t go a couple of hours without applying lotion? This got us talking about how creepy some…
Capricorn Accomplishing things is the name of the game, and you pack double your usual powerful punch, especially when it comes to money matters. Too bad Monopoly money doesn’t count in the real world. Gemini You can’t go around giving affection always expecting to get it back. The love you make is equal to the…
“Mickelson Boob” is the John Stossel Pick of the Week. Basically, it’s a guy with boobs, who chooses to wear a form-fitting polo with no undershirt. Here are the results, from the original “Mickelson Boob.” Never make eye contact with a pair of Mickelson Boobs. In other show activity… I continue to struggle with my…
LeoAre you eating because you’re hungry, or are you noshing because it’s a good way to distract yourself from what’s really going on? Food should be appreciated, but it shouldn’t be used as a way to avoid emotions. And when Mark Mangino and Louie Anderson get emotional in the same room, may God help anyone…
A perp, with his hands cuffed, managed to bite a Riley County Police Officer on the thigh, and break skin. This prompted a frank discussion on bites. Segment 1 – Dog bite on the ear Segment 2 – Love bites “Cheer: getting blood stains out of teeth since 1951.” In other show activity… “Words” with…
AquariusHow do you always end up in the middle of a drama when you haven’t auditioned for the role? No, Mangino, not that type of “roll” (screams). CancerYour ego gets a much-needed boost when you perform well at something you love. Too bad shooting pens out of your belly button isn’t a paying gig. ScorpioYou…
I just read Robin Williams is going into rehab. Here’s what I think about Robin Williams: he’s pretty talented, but also happens to be one of the most annoying people on Earth. When he gets sober, he’ll…happen to be one of the most annoying people on Earth. Any guesses on which race or religion he…
She’s out of my league Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs She’s like the wind -Patrick Swayze We talked about this Men’s Health article on dating out of your league. The main point we debated: approaching a hot woman because, chances are, her hotness scares away other dudes. Segment 1 –…
CapricornAn on-the-job big shot may not be quite the authority figure you were hoping for. Don’t stamp your feet and air your grievances. Plot your revenge behind closed doors. Before you know it, your boss will be picking maggots and whipped cream out of their hair. GeminiA fancy social event makes you somewhat uncomfortable. Be…
We talked about how E-Mail is inappropriate for some things. I got a pair of interesting emails…six months apart. Segment 1 – E-Mail Breakup Segment 2 – I never get good E-Mail Segment 3 – On exhaust fumes (Breuer-vision) “With Breur-vision, we always hit five stashes.” In other show activity… The Old Woman called about…
Leo With great poetry, one line can mean one thing when viewed in a certain light, and something entirely different when it’s read again. Think of your life as an epic poem in progress, with various possible interpretations, although most of them relate to sorting through various refuse. Sagittarius You stand apart from the pack…
My friend Kevin posted a blog on his MySpace about a coworker who tries to suck everyone into his spousal problems. We talked about coworkers who take too many liberties with their work “friends” when talking about their personal issues. Segment 1Segment 2 In other show activity… A guy called in to complain about the…
Aquarius Gritting your teeth isn’t necessary. Someone really is in charge here. You’ll just have to deal with the fact that it’s not you (even though you’d do a bang-up job). Be patient. Your turn will get here very soon, and you’ll be able to put the quarter in the K-Mart pony on your very…
Free for All Friday was full of people seeking my advice on relationships. Mistake. But we gave it a shot. Segment 1- Ugly babies and The E-Mail CheaterSegment 2 – The 16-year-old man stealerSegment 3 – Hawaiin Shaved Ice “Dr. Phil: Sexual predator” coming to Lifetime in 2011 In other show activity… A caller who’s…
Capricorn Relationships with others are highlighted and can be easier now. You’re on display and drawing plenty of admirers. Not everyone has a mole on their lower back that resembles Dennis Leary. Gemini Sacred spaces are necessary for individuals — and for all of humanity. See what you can do about resuscitating a neglected area…
Even thought tonight’s episode wasn’t that good, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is easily the best comedy on TV. It’s on FX, Thursday nights at 9. I just noticed that when they flash the production company logo up at the end of the show, there’s some weird audio playing. Listen here. It sounded like reversed…
I haven’t even come close to putting my new apartment in order. I’m trying to throw a bunch of stuff out that I never use. But with such disarray around the house, I’ve been forced to go commando for the second straight day. We discussed the various positives and negatives of this practice. Segment 1…
Leo A combination of intuition, imagination and knowledge lead to wisdom. You know more than you think. You just need to tap into all your resources, not just the ones you want to publicly acknowledge. Yes, it’s time to reveal that you were a 1996 World Series of Hopscotch finalist. Sagittarius It’s important to trust…
Didn’t realize my beard would cause such a ruckus. Click the picture for a bigger view.
I shaved the beard last night. My A/C’s been struggling to keep up with the heat, and I needed as much relief as I could get my hands on. Plus, I needed a reason to stay in the cold shower a little longer. For some reason, I remembered my sister-in-law’s parents had a friend who…
Aquarius You’re an excellent puzzle solver, but for this one, you may need to call in some outside help. When it comes to emotional matters, the best medicine you could hope for is an empathetic friend…or your pathetic friend Petey, the guy who bathes in the bathroom at work. You’ll feel better just knowing that’s…