Congratulations to Mel Gibson on having the most un-mug-shot looking mug shot of all time. InTouch Weekly got their hands on some photos of Mel partying earlier in the night. “Gibson to God…Can I hate on the Jews a little later? This girl’s totally into me.”
I moved across the hall last night, and it spells like urine in there. The air conditioner hasn’t been on in forever so it’s 1000 degrees in there. Not the best night of sleep I’ve ever had. To make me, and everyone else who moves into a place in need of a little work, we…
Capricorn Voice your real needs and they’ll be met in one way or another. Be honest and forthright about what you’ve kept concealed for far too long. Yup, just like a Ken Doll. Gemini Your intuition is the most powerful tool at your disposal, but you need to use it to keep it sharp. Meditation,…
So, here I am. Waiting to hear from my landlord on whether I can start moving stuff across the hall (long story if you haven’t heard it). So, what do I do? Go to MY OWN MySpace Page, to listen to clips of MY OWN show (ego problem?) while playing Tetris. Check out my score:…
I helped Chris move last night into his new digs. He’s thinking about getting a kitten, but I warned him, “your three dude roommates aren’t going to like a kitten.” I don’t mind kittens, in fact, I even enjoy their company from time-to-time. But for some reason, most guys have some weird hatred toward cats.…
Leo Who elected you peacemaker? Actually, all the astrological energies are in agreement on this one. You’ve got the right stuff when it comes to settling disputes, negotiating contracts and slashing the tires of the clerk who wouldn’t spot you two pennies at the gas station. Sagittarius Use the element of surprise on your problems.…
…when everyone thinks about Saved by the Bell, they think about the caffeine pills episode, and it’s really played out. But I’m watching the True Hollywood Story on Saved by the Bell, when I should be cleaning up my craphole of an apartment so I can move (brilliantly) across the hall Tuesday.Anyhow, here’s the clip…
Mel Gibson busted for DUI! And it’s his second! Wow. Here’s what Mel’s mug shot will look like if he goes to Nolte’s stylist:
Another Free for All Friday today with all kinds of fun stuff. A guy who likes go-carts. A woman who hates man-stealing women, followed by a woman who may be trying to steal her man. A woman who has a man for the man-stealer to take, followed by a guy who needs a bathroom break…
Aquarius Keep your chin up. Life-changing rewards are often the result of difficult effort. You may feel near the end of your rope, but keep the faith — you’ve got much more room on the line than you would have believed…almost enough to make a lasso and hogtie your mother-in-law. Cancer You know an exception…
Get it? Like “Seacrest out.” I think Seacrest made the connection, because he doesn’t drop that line anymore. We talked about Lance Bass coming out of the closet. Then, we tried to figure out why we care. Segment 1 Segment 2 “Did I really need to come out and say it?” In other show activity……
Capricorn Yours is a complex sign, and you can’t be expected to process things the way that other, simpler signs do. Give yourself a little space to move. Here’s a start: stay away from Guillermo in the elevator for both space and stench relief. Gemini Make sure you don’t neglect your health or your loved…
Lance Bass is now officially gay (Thanks to Kevin for the heads up). Check out this quote: “Bass…tells People magazine that he didn’t earlier disclose his sexuality because he didn’t want to affect the group’s popularity. Yeah, right. He just liked Timberlake getting picked on for being most gay. “What’re you hiding back there, Lance?”
Manhattan has closed Northview Pool because you get a static shock when you get into the pool. The parks superintendent said “What was rediscovered was one or two volts of intermittent static electricity that is similar to if you were to rub your feet across the carpet and touch somebody.” It made us ask the…
Leo Expand your awareness and you’ll find that your life is enriched with a much-needed adventure. A surprising opportunity awaits you, but you have to be willing to see it to take advantage of it fully. Damn you Magic Eye. Sagittarius Be a daredevil when it comes to matters of the heart. Wink at that…
First off, check out this website, created by Santa’s Deb. It is honestly one of the most frightening things I’ve ever seen. UPDATE: Photo of the “Santa’s Deb Van,” courtesy of “The Prewitt.” “What do you think of my Loonmobile?” Segment 1Segment 2Segment 3 “Dammit, Donner! Didn’t I tell you no Cialis on Christmas Eve?”…
Aquarius Listen to your inner drives. If you’re strongly drawn to performing and being in the spotlight, do what it takes to foster this side of your creativity. If you’re strongly drawn to women, get some cash and head to the Lion’s Den. You’re not getting any anytime soon. Cancer The stars want you to…
Today’s tip: don’t drink Franzia Chardonnay, Rum and Natty in one sitting. Don’t trust a beverage in a box, let alone alcohol This morning’s topic was the “Femperv,” based on a girl who kept losing her suit at the pool yesterday. Hear a drunk girl talk about it. Hear a guy talk about something that…
Capricorn You know there’s some truth to the rumors, but you won’t contribute to a friend’s troubles. Congratulations! It’s a fine line to walk, but if anyone can cross this tightrope like a champ, it’s you. DUI Checkpoints are fun for the whole family! Gemini A forgetful type spills the beans on a crucial aspect…
I ran over an article at askmen.com about getting your girlfriend’s friends to like you. We questioned whether you would even want to take the effort. Segment 1Segment 2 O.J. never really liked Nicole’s new friends In other show activity… A ghost called the show. “Have you ever wondered: Chuck Norris on the Titanic Edition.”…
Leo It’s not just your retirement portfolio that should be diversified — think about your life portfolio. Instead of doing what’s comfortable and safe, think about what scares you just a little bit. Then tackle it. You might need some friends to help, as Big Bird is one stout individual. Sagittarius You’re a little bit…
Scroll down to check out the CBS advertising on eggs. Photoshop decided I needed some of my own.
Oprah wants you to know that her and Gayle King aren’t gay for each other. Oprah and Gayle talk four times a day, and apparently that’s enough to make Oprah paranoid. I doubted Oprah’s claim as it seems girls are always on the phone with each other and no one questions it. In this segment,…
Aquarius Genuine satisfaction is the result of profound self-knowledge, dim lighting and “C” batteries. Cancer You’re fine-tuning your living space. All these home improvements lead to some happy unexpected changes in other parts of your life too. Although, people at work know what you’re up to with that new hot tub, and your rumored rendezvous…
CBS is going to start advertising on eggs in grocery stores. At first, I thought they meant on the egg cartons, not on the eggs themselves. I was wrong. How EGGciting! CBS: We eat Havana Omelets (definition here)
My parents had an encounter with their neighbors. The neighbors were shooting birds and squirrels in my parents’ yard. We talked about awkward encounters with neighbors. Segment 1 Segment 2 Mmmm. Bloody Tom Hanks hand smells good. In other show activity… The Old Woman called in. She’s on meth. The Old Woman called back. Still…
Virgo Are you so busy worrying about what might (or might not) happen next that you’re forgetting to count all the blessings you already have? The stars are telling you to celebrate. Time to pull out the miniature poker table for some good old fashioned Barbie strip poker. Capricorn Some recent shake-ups in your life…
No Internet made for an interesting show today. One highlight from that experience was the one story we had in the 6:10 Stooks Scoop, that I had to try to recall from (drunken) memory from CNN Headline News. Luckily, we had a Free for All Friday to hide the flaws. The Stoner called in, worried…
Scroll down to see my thoughts and some of the stats on guys wearing women’s jeans. We talked about how difficult it would be for a guy to pull this off. We heard from a guy who recommended Wrangler’s for a more women-jeans-like experience. The High Lady’s friend called in about it, but in typical…
Aquarius Ever noticed you always get chatted up when you’re feeling relaxed? How sexy you are has very little to do with how you look. It’s your resemblance to Sloth from Goonies that’s scaring people away. Cancer It’s so easy to get caught up in everyone else’s agenda, but any more of this and you’ll…