Month: February 2008

Leap Day

When I planned out my blogging year, I didn’t take into account Leap Day.  Therefore, I don’t have a blog post to spare for this extra day.  Damn you, Gregorian Calendar!

Hillary at Bob Evans

Hillary Clinton made a campaign stop at a Bob Evans in Ohio. “In case this other endeavor I’m involved in doesn’t work out, I know I can come back to Bob Evans.” I think we all can agree that Hillary owes Bob Evans workers an apology.  Besides, who’s she to think she could get any…

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Lessons from Manhattan

I went to Manhattan last weekend to catch up with some friends. We went to Kite’s Saturday night.  I learned two main things. 1. K-State basketball fans suck.  K-State lost to Baylor Saturday night.  Like KU fans trying to follow football (see this post), K-State basketball fans really don’t understand the game.  They jeer at…

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The pooping train

Some woman in India accidentally gave birth on the toilet of a moving train.  This sounds scary enough, but apparently toilets on Indian trains are just open holes to the track below.  So, the baby fell straight through the toilet and onto the tracks.  They found the baby almost two hours later, still alive. The…

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Terrorists are pirates?

The phrase “loss of lives and treasure” is a popular one in regards to the war in Iraq these days. What century is this?  We talk about losing “treasure” and the voting habits of “blacks and browns.” What happened to inventing fun new words like “Islamofascist?” Stolen by Blackbeard in Fallujah

My ab routine

I’ve been fighting a rough cold all week.  The frequent coughing has an upside.  I woke up today feeling like I had done some actual, intense ab exercises yesterday. I have a feeling “Cough your way to health” volumes 1-10 will make me a very rich man.

Debate wrap up!

Oh no!  You forgot to TiVo the debate?  Don’t worry, I’ll tell you what happened. Here’s my wrap up: Bush, Bush, McCain, Bush, generic Texas pander, Bush, Bush, mandate, McCain, McCain, Iraq, Bush, etc. You’re welcome. “Which orifice are we talking about, Barack?”

Can we get some zoom on that tongue?

Here comes another Gene Simmons production I never want to experience. The video, found at genessecret.com, purportedly features Simmons and Australian spokesmodel “Elsa” engaging in sexual activity to the tune of Foreigner’s “I Want to Know What Love Is.” Can’t get hard to “Rock And Roll All Nite” anymore, Gene? “You may have heard or…

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Get your moon on

It’s going to be cold as the opposite of Hell tonight, but I’ll brave it for some serious lunar eclipse viewing action if the skies allow. Here’s what you need to know (central time). The partial eclipse phase begins tonight at 7:43 p.m., as the Earth’s dark shadow starts to cover the full moon. The…

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Speeches about speeches

Hillary Clinton is starting to annoy me.  She keeps giving the same speech. “It’s about picking a president who relies not just on words but on work, on hard work,” she said. “We need to make a choice between speeches and solutions, because while words matter greatly, the greatest words in the world are not…

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Obama bin Laden

Here comes Chris Matthews with some help for the morons who think Barack Obama is Muslim. Today, Chris Matthews asked on his show: “What did Barack Obama say and why’s it causing controversy?” It took a couple of seconds before someone realized the accompanying graphic was a little messed up and took it off the…

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Not so Easy Mac

For the first time since college, I’ve taken the Easy Mac plunge. At first glance, Easy Mac looks just as easy as always.  Just add water, heat for four minutes, stir in some questionable powdered cheese, and you’re good to go. The poor gourmet A closer look at the package reveals “Tear Here,” with arrows…

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Waterboarding cows

A California meat packer is recalling 143 million pounds of beef (bold mine). Hallmark/Westland Meat Packing Co voluntarily recalled all of its beef produced since February 1, 2006. USDA said Hallmark violated rules against the slaughter of “downer cattle” — that is, animals too ill to walk. How, exactly, do you recall beef from two…

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When has-beens sue

From Slashdot: The Pirate Bay’s legal concerns are continuing to grow. Prince and the Village People are planning to sue the popular torrent site with the help of the Web Sheriff law firm. John Giacobbi of Web Sheriff has also asked Swedish band ABBA to join the cause. The suit is seeking “millions of dollars”…

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Not cool, Lew’s

Jon (his amazing performance of “Hurts So Good” with a street performer in Westport here) and I went to Lew’s to celebrate our singlehood on Valentine’s. Lew’s is a bar and grill, more bar than grill, and definitely not the ideal Valentine’s date location.  However, we did see several couples enjoying Lew’s for Valentine’s. I…

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Fox News Redemption

I hate Fox News. But they made my day with the first sentence in this story. Bai Ling’s first name may not be synonymous with her actions. The Chinese-born actress was arrested Thursday for allegedly shoplifting at Los Angeles International Airport after a gift shop employee accused her of swiping, not buying, two magazines and…

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Single Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is the best day to be single all year – for a guy. Single women get depressed because they ain’t got no man on Valentine’s. But it’s fantastic to be a single guy on Valentine’s. Men have to do the heavy lifting on Valentine’s. Women just have to sit there. Yes, that innuendo…

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IHOP makes me sleepy

Tuesday was IHOP National Pancake Day.  You get a free short stack of pancakes, with IHOP suggesting a donation to the Children’s Miracle Network. So, I went for a nourishing dinner at IHOP.  I got my free short stack and paid about five bucks extra for bacon, hash browns, toast and two eggs over easy.…

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American Gladiator Hearings

I have a feeling Roger Clemens will be indicted for perjury in his Congressional testimony. Lost in all the baseball hubbub is a steroid crisis unfolding in front of America right on network television. One of our favorite past times is in peril, and no one says a word. First, take a look at the…

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On Heath Ledger

Now that we’ve learned the official report of Heath Ledger‘s accidental death from an unfortunate mix of legal prescription drugs and Mary Kate Olsen (one could only imagine what Dave Coulier would’ve added to this deadly cocktail), I feel the need to weigh in. However, I can only describe my true feelings after viewing “The…

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Good news, American Pie fans!

After seeing Mr. Woodcock, I’m fairly certain Seann “Two n’s in my first name” William Scott will completely flame out in time to reprise his role as the original “Stifler” for the 37th direct-to-video “American Pie” sequel.  But will he make more bread than Eugene Levy? Thumbs up to the mustaches above Eugene’s eyes, bro

Moment of Truth

I saw “Moment of Truth” for the first time tonight. It’s that Fox show where they hook contestants up to a lie detector and ask embarrassing questions. It’s pretty fun to watch. There are a couple of things to note. First, does the audience need to let out a shocked “ahhhhh” every time a question…

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Awesome laugh!

In this quick podcast, I address an interesting trait of people with terrible laughs. mp3 file (0:35) Podcast: Download (423.1KB)

Missouruh

Missouri voted last night. Missouri is an important indicator in politics, thanks to its mix of urban and rural communities. This means I’ve had to hear almost every news douche opt for the “Missouruh” pronunciation in the last 24 hours. Here’s a good post about why a correct pronunciation doesn’t exist. But I don’t care…

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Obama is black

The media has made a point to constantly talk about how Bill Clinton “injected” race into the campaign. Then, the same media goes on to point out exactly which races and genders voted for Barack and Hillary. I found this curious. After some intense investigation, I have determined Barack Obama to be black.  During the…

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