Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) Impulse control could become a challenge for you right now, especially when someone appeals to your maverick side. Let’s just hope no one comes along who appeals to your O.J. Simpson side. Cancer (June 22 – July 22) When it comes right down to it, you don’t have the…
Britney Spears has shown off her vagina three nights in the past week. She hasn’t been wearing panties: “Whats that flapping sound? Whoops, caught some wind, there.” But, Britney’s days of being pantie-free look numbered. She just dropped $3 thousand at the place Katie Holmes got her wedding underwear at. As I think about this…
Target isn’t allowing bell ringers for the third straight year. They are doing an online campaign with the Salvation Army and have donated $1 million of their own. We asked our listeners what they thought. Segment 1 (1:00) Segment 2 (1:11) Segment 3 (3:24) Segment 4 (5:08) Segment 5 (5:17) “Okay, did you get the…
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) You have poetry in your soul, and it’s time express it. You might want to keep your Kramer tribute poems to yourself. Gemini (May 21 – June 21) Your crackling energy takes a turn for the mellow and sweet early on in the day. Enjoy it to the fullest.…
I got home early enough to catch Inside Edition today. I left the TV quite satisfied and with some fun audio for the show. A great tease about Britney’s new look. The payoff is even better. Britney hands off her glass of wine and starts her car. But for some reason they lead with “Britney’s…
So, what was the tipping point in Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock’s relationship? Could’ve been Borat. Pam’s in Borat, playing herself. I don’t remember her doing anything too filthy, but Kid Rock wasn’t happy after seeing it. “You’re nothing but a whore! You’re a slut! How could you do that movie?” Are they sure he’s…
Over the Thanksgiving break, my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas for my “big gift.”I asked her when she thought they would cut us off from big Christmas gifts. She thinks never. We asked our audience, is there a cutoff for Christmas gifts from your parents? I was a little surprised at their…
Leo (July 23 – August 22) The stars give you a dose of some sweet, slow energy. Your roar turns into a muted purr. Kind of like a feline Helen Keller. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) The people you respect may not understand your plans, but that doesn’t mean you should abandon them. They’re…
The latest “Days” clips: Celeste’s dreams aren’t like yours and mine. Thanksgiving is for hooker girlfriends “It’s face transplant time!”
Hold me…Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are divorcing. He’s seeking custody of her breasts. Jesse Jackson has called for a boycott of the latest Seinfeld box set because of Kramer’s racism. Can you guess what Kramer said in response? Michael Jackson’s pulling an Angelina, and lending his support to Africa, specifically, Rwanda. Can you legally…
Apparently everyone was too busy with Cyber Monday too contribute to the show today. Us blowing didn’t help. This guy can’t watch Seinfeld after what Kramer did (3:37). We were so desperate for material, we ripped off some audio from a random YouTube video (0:31). Here’s a frightening conversation about some mystery “almost cranberry” dish…
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) You’re over it, but then why are you reliving it in your head — so much so that you’re not even aware of it? The key is to see yourself as you are: a person who has learned the lesson and is truly beyond the situation, rather than seeing…
Britney and Paris look like BFF. They partied at Paris’ place after the American Music Awards. Neighbors called the police because their music was so loud. Then, they had a run-in with Lindsay Lohan this weekend. This is almost as good as the Paris-Lohan danceoff story. The paparazzi were all focused on Lohan until Paris…
We’re in clip show mode tomorrow through Friday, so we made today “Turkey Tuesday.” The High Lady is back in song mode (2:05). “Words with Chris Casey.” Today’s word: Giblet (0:30). It sucks to suck at football on Thanksgiving (1:32). Bob Barker has “sweet potato” face (3:20). “Well, color me pale-faced.”
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) A need to make a fast choice inspires a brilliant decision. You’re so grateful for everything you’ve received. What’s more, that gratitude paves the way for even more good fortune to come your way. Isn’t Welfare great? Gemini (May 21 – June 21) Good fortune is ready to smile…
Fox has canceled its special on O.J. Newscorp is also O.J.’s publisher, so they canceled the book, too. “This was an ill-considered project. We are sorry for any pain this has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown-Simpson,” said Rupert Murdoch of Fox. So, I guess we might never know how O.J. would…
If you hadn’t heard, The George Michael Sports Machine, in all of its crappy graphics glory, is going off the air. Luckily, they’re replacing it with The Helen Keller Sports Machine (0:59). “Canceled?! But we just got our new Atari graphics system!” The holiday shopping season started a little early this year with people shooting…
Leo (July 23 – August 22) You’ve been working tremendously hard. Now’s the time to take your vitamins, eat right and get plenty of rest – you’ve got Mangino to hunt. Just listen for the wobbling footsteps. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) It’s time to go where you want to go and do what…
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were officially married before they ever arrived in Rome! They had to do it that way, seeing how Italy doesn’t recognize Scientology weddings. So the wedding was just for show! You do not waste Brooke Shield’s valuable time! “We are now one in the eyes of Voltron.” In the new…
Frank Nareola checks in with his report on the Playstation 3 (3:29). The Old couple is also concerned about the PS3 (1:57). “I didn’t get a PS3” Tips 2006 (0:30). “I didn’t know the line to Paris Hilton’s vagina would still be so long.” What would you do if your significant other had half their…
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18) You bring out the best in others. Your ability to get people closer to their goals helps you progress in leaps and bounds on your own as well. Expect a financial windfall to land in your lap just when you need it. Brace yourself. A bucket full of quarters…
Justin Timberlake may have slammed Janet Jackson in song. He and Nelly Furtado are on one of the songs from Timbaland’s CD, which comes out in march. He may be referring to an appearance on Oprah, where Janet didn’t talk very nice about Justin. Take a listen to the 20-second clip, I’ve even provided the…
Harry Potter’s favorite fan has some news for us today (2:37). We talked a bit about the one or two guys who get dragged into Oprah’s audience by their significant others. One of our callers got dragged to something that still affects him to this day (2:03). We got to hear a really bad Nascar…
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) Under this influence, there’s a definite ‘when in Rome, do as the Romans do’ vibe going on with you. Just make sure you get a big enough ring so your Christian can survive the lion attack long enough for a good show. Gemini (May 21 – June 21) Being…
Emmitt upset Mario Lopez, and won Dancing with the Stars. You could see Mario Lopez’ ego completely collapse through his forced smile. At 45 years old, George Clooney is People’s Sexiest Man Alive for the second time, tying Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt is still winning in the “owning more of other people’s kids” race, still.…
From my Email: Hey Stooks, I am writing you because I am pissed off. My friend messaged me this morning saying that the Stooks in the Morning website was restricted on our Military computers, I went to see if it was true and the message came up that you were restricted under the category of…
Askmen.com is encouraging its readers to try out dating more than one person at a time. However, they say you should tell your dates about your multidating ways before you ask them out. To some, it may sound cool in theory. We asked, does anyone go for this idea? Segment 1 (5:04) Segment 2 (3:04)…
Leo (July 23 – August 22) Trying to make everyone happy all at once is a balancing act — and an impossible one at that. However, if you can balance Bob Saget’s soul on your nose, then everyone will be happy. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21) Loved ones are demanding more of you than…
Tonight’s the season finale of Dancing with the Stars, so I better watch. Some observations: George Lopez is in the crowd. Maybe he’s looking for some Mario Lopez jokes to sprinkle in with his blatantly ethnic act. Marcus Allen is in the crowd, too. I guess he’s supporting Emmitt Smith. What’s Emmitt doing comparing dancing…
Katie Holmes bought $3 thousand in lingerie for her wedding this weekend. Maybe they had to pay extra to have anti-Zordon shields sewn in to protect Katie’s areoli from the Scientology goons. Don’t go there, girl! Oprah didn’t get an invite to the wedding. Oprah says she doesn’t feel dissed, and she even plans on…